Through The Static

August 14, 2008

Mario creator gagged by Nintendo brass

Filed under: Randomness,robots — disciplepete @ 7:31 pm

Yahoo:

When he isn’t designing groundbreaking video games, Shigeru Miyamoto partakes in a variety of interesting hobbies. And Nintendo doesn’t want you to know what they are.

Citing anonymous Nintendo sources, the Times Online reports that the man responsible for smash franchises like Mario and Zelda has been banned by Nintendo from chatting about his non-game interests, apparently because they “could be worth billions.”

If history serves, they’re probably right — Miyamoto has a lengthy track record of converting his hobbies into lucrative games. Plant-based strategy game Pikmin, for instance, was born out of his love for gardening. After his family got a dog, the rest of the world adopted Nintendogs. Most recently, he revealed that exercise game Wii Fit was a direct result of the master designer obsessively weighing himself after turning 50.

Both Nintendo and Miyamoto have, unsurprisingly, remained silent on the matter.

So this is the man who created Zelda and Mario…someone needs to build a shrine to this guy. Those were 2 of my fav. Nintendo games (old school Nintendo I mean, that’s the only one I had)…I also loved Ice Hockey, Double Dragon was pretty tight…hmm can’t remember the others I liked right now. I recently played Karate Kid for the first time, I think my friend got it at a flea market or something…worst game EVER…hard as hell with a stupid ending.

Oh, and I also had Rob the Video robot…that thing came with the Nintendo when it first came out in the States (I got mine in like ’86). If you got your Nintendo later on when it didn’t come with the robot, don’t worry, that robot was the stupidest thing ever!! I couldn’t figure it out for the life of me, despite my maturity and vast experience with technology.

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July 25, 2008

3 naked men robbed after women lured them to motel by promising to party

Filed under: Eeeeep!,Oh,Randomness,WTF — disciplepete @ 6:07 pm

This sucks! SJ Mercury:

CALIMESA, Calif. — Three naked men were robbed after women lured them to a Calimesa motel for some partying.

The men told Riverside County sheriff’s deputies they met three women in a Yucaipa park and they rented a room at the request of the women.

After the men took off their clothes, sheriff’s investigators say four other men entered the room and robbed them of about $80 and fled.

One of the victims ran from the motel room at about 1:20 a.m. Thursday, leading to 911 calls about a nude man in the area. Sheriff’s dispatchers then got a call reporting a robbery and assault with a deadly weapon.

July 22, 2008

Women on antidepressants may benefit from Viagra

Filed under: Randomness,Sex — disciplepete @ 10:13 am

Umm, wow. Yahoo:

CHICAGO – Viagra’s effect in women has been disappointing, but a new small study finds those on antidepressants may benefit from taking the little blue pills.

The research involving 98 premenopausal women found Viagra helped with orgasm. But the benefits did not extend to other aspects of sex such as desire, researchers report in Wednesday’s Journal of the American Medical Association.

“For women on antidepressants with orgasm problems, this may provide some wonderful relief,” said psychologist Stanley Althof, director of the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida in West Palm Beach, who was not involved in the study. “But it will not improve their desire or arousal.”

July 18, 2008

Pizza clerk surprised to find robber is her dad

Filed under: Love,Randomness,WTF — disciplepete @ 9:11 am

Yahoo:

DENTON, Texas – Police said they will not file charges against a clerk whose parents and husband were charged with robbing the pizza restaurant where she worked, officials said. Police said the clerk didn’t know they planned to rob the Pizza Patron Friday night.

While the robbery was in progress, the clerk discovered her father was the robber when another clerk struck him, knocking him out and knocking off his wig and sunglasses. He was later apprehended after witnesses followed the getaway pickup.

“Her husband told us she didn’t know. He knew they were going to rob someplace but he thought it was going to be a convenience store,” police Sgt. James Brett said in a story in Monday’s online editions of the Denton Record-Chronicle.

July 5, 2008

A-Rod: Cheaper to Keep Her

Filed under: Culture,Randomness,Sports — disciplepete @ 12:24 pm

New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez (the highest paid player in baseball) recently separated from his wife. This article talks about how it’ll go down if his wife files for divorce:

If A-Rod’s estranged wife files for divorce, she could claim half of his vast fortune — as well as their three opulent homes and private jet, experts say…

And what a half it is:

A-Rod earns about $29 million a year from the Yankees, more than the entire payroll of

Alex Rodriguez the Florida Marlins. He makes an additional $6 million annually in commercial endorsements. Sports Illustrated has estimated he’ll make $445 million over the course of what would be a 24-year baseball career at the end of his newly inked $275 million, 10-year contract with the Bombers.

A-Rod and his wife own a $12 million, 8,310-square-foot mansion near Coral Gables, Fla., and recently bought a $13.5 million penthouse on the upper East Side. 
The reigning American League MVP owns millions of dollars in rental properties in New York and Florida. He also owns a 22-seat Gulfstream jet worth more than $30 million.
Divorce experts also said Rodriguez could wind up paying a heavy chunk of his income on child support for the couple’s two children, 3-year-old Natasha and 10-week-old Ella Alexander.

I’ve never given too much thought to divorce laws, though I regularly hear my older brother complaining about them. Reading this though, I wonder, why is the spouse of someone who makes hella money entitled to half of everything in a divorce? Sure, I can see why the spouse should be entitled to something, but half? Half of a huge fortune that was earned not by them, but their spouse? 

Oh well, somehow I think A-Rod will pull through. Although if you need help, A-Rod, I’l let you crash with me a few days in exchange for some tickets and autographs.

June 24, 2008

Rockin in India

Filed under: Culture,Entertainment,Music,Musings,Race,Randomness,World News,WTF — disciplepete @ 12:15 am

This article from the NYT is about some musicians in Northeast India who play Western music (rock/blues). The article talks about an annual celebration of Bob Dylan’s birthday, and talks in general about the musicians. I have a larger observation about this to make in a minute, but here’s some of the article:

This annual incantation is more than one man’s act of madcap devotion. It is also a peephole into the love affair with Western music that goes on every day in this pine-wooded outpost in India’s northeast. Shillong, a British-era hill town that is now home to dozens of boarding schools and colleges, is its hub, especially when it comes to rock…

…Many theories are offered for Shillong’s fascination with rock and the blues. Some argue that the area’s indigenous Khasi traditions are deeply rooted in song and rhyme. Some credit the 19th-century Christian missionaries who came from Britain and the United States, introduced the English language, hymns and gospel music and in turn made the heart ripe for rock. Some say the northeast, remote and in many pockets, gripped by anti-Indian separatist movements, has not been as saturated by Hindi film music as the rest of India.

Others speak of that ephemeral quality of rock ’n’ roll, able to seep into young, restless bones anywhere…

…The blues, he [one of the musicians] concluded, came closest to the music of his people, except that the blues, as he is fond of saying, began only 150 years ago. “Our folk is a thousand years old.”

What trips me out is that I have seen more Indians in India who play rock/blues than Indians who are from the U.S. What’s up with that?? Only one Indian person that I went to college with is a rock musician, and I’ve met one other drummer I can think of. Then there’s me. I know there’s more out there, but the numbers seem to be disproportionately low in my experience.

On the other hand, I see rock bands and crazy ass guitarists rocking out on an Indian religious channel my mom watches. They even do reggae shit. There’s one guy who I wish I could link to but can’t find much of his stuff on the internet, his name is Alphonse Joseph, crazy rock guitarist and he throws some classical Indian singing in the mix with his English (Christian) lyrics. In the Indian worship services I’ve been to here in Cali, on the other hand, motherfuckers can barely play the tambourine.

I notice the same phenomenon with pro atheletes and East Asians. What’s up with all the folks straight from Asia who play American pro sports, with so few Asian Americans? I guess I’m talking primarily about baseball here, but examples from basketball also come to mind.

My bro and I were talking about this a bit ago, I think after we saw some of those Indian folks rocking out via satellite from India. I asked him why we never saw Indians here rocking out like the folks in the motherland, and he goes, “They’re too busy becoming engineers.” Lolz, but that’s probably part of it.

June 15, 2008

Robot Love

Filed under: Culture,Randomness,robots,Science — disciplepete @ 1:53 pm

This one goes out to our resident robot. Yahoo:

MAASTRICHT, Netherlands (AFP) – Romantic human-robot relationships are no longer the stuff of science fiction — researchers expect them to become reality within four decades.

And they do not mean simply, mechanical sex.

“I am talking about loving relationships about 40 years from now,” David Levy, author of the book “Love + sex with robots”, told AFP at an international conference held last week at the University of Maastricht in the south-east of the country.

“… when there are robots that have also emotions, personality, consciousness. They can talk to you, they can make you laugh. They can … say they love you just like a human would say ‘I love you’, and say it as though they mean it …”

…The field of human-computer conversation is crucial to building robots with whom humans could fall in love, but is lagging behind other areas of development, said the author.

“I am sure it will (happen.) In 40 years … perhaps sooner. You will find robots, conversation partners, that will talk to you and you will get as much pleasure from it as talking to another human. I am sure of it.”

I think there really are people out there so desperate for love that they’d buy a robot to give it to them. This reminds me of Rocky IV, that movie made me think we’d all have our personal robots in the 90’s. And then in elementary school they told me we’d be hanging out on Mars by the year 2000. Yes, I’ve been very disappointed by life! Let’s see if this robot thing pans out.

June 13, 2008

Intelligent people ‘less likely to believe in God’

Filed under: Miss Cleo,Randomness,Religion — disciplepete @ 12:20 am

As an atheist, I’m all over this story like curry on rice. From the Telegraph:

Professor Richard Lynn, emeritus professor of psychology at Ulster University, said many more members of the “intellectual elite” considered themselves atheists than the national average.

A decline in religious observance over the last century was directly linked to a rise in average intelligence, he claimed.

But the conclusions – in a paper for the academic journal Intelligence – have been branded “simplistic” by critics…

…A survey of Royal Society fellows found that only 3.3 per cent believed in God – at a time when 68.5 per cent of the general UK population described themselves as believers.

A separate poll in the 90s found only seven per cent of members of the American National Academy of Sciences believed in God.

Professor Lynn said most primary school children believed in God, but as they entered adolescence – and their intelligence increased – many started to have doubts.

He told Times Higher Education magazine: “Why should fewer academics believe in God than the general population? I believe it is simply a matter of the IQ. Academics have higher IQs than the general population. Several Gallup poll studies of the general population have shown that those with higher IQs tend not to believe in God.”

Hmmz, I’m not really buying it. I’m not completely sold on the intelligence measuring capacity of IQ tests to begin with, but that’s a story for different day. I also think religious belief is motivated more by emotion than intelligence. I know plenty of religious people who are very intelligent. Maybe an intelligent person will question religion more. Maybe.  And damn, there’s like a billion comments people left to the article…definitely stirred up folks.

May 27, 2008

Yo, Vaginas! Gee, Whiz-While-Standing-UP!

Filed under: Gender,Health,Randomness,Technology,Wake Up Call,World News — bobbleheadedbob @ 7:47 am

whiz freedom

What is this, mai peoples? Oh, yes, that would be “the world’s first ultralight, antibacterial, and hydrophobic urine director for women, and at 0.5 oz, an enlightening — and empowering — way to pee in the woods.” Okay, don’t get so excited, Freudians — not everything about peeing-while-standing-up has to do with women wishing they ALL HAD A PENIS! But this IS a convenient lil option, isn’t it?

Peeing while standing up.

No more squatting, no more worries about urine dribbling down your legs — or if you’ll make a urine-soaked mess while trying to drive and pee in a 7-11 Big Gulp in the middle of bumper-to-bumper traffic. Or if you’re peeing on a hill, to be careful not to get it on your shoes. Plus there’s that factor of having your ass AND vag exposed to ze world if there aren’t enough bushes and you don’t have the convenience of wearing a long arse skirt. Peeing on the side of the road in jeans is not this bobblebot’s most fLavorite activity to partake in on that road trip to NorCal.

gee whiz!

Now, lookee here:

The Whiz Freedom preserves dignity and liberty whatever the circumstances.

Aside from allowing women to wee in a standing position, sitting down or lying down, the Whiz Freedom can be used in confined spaces such as in a car, a kayak, a small airplane or glider (you’re up there for many hours), in a tent, a sleeping back, while chained to the stove, or while caving.

DIGNITy. LiBertY. FREEDOM! And we’re not talking about the latest ruling on ze status of marriage in Cali, Cali.

Dudes, this is seriously exciting. Standing up? Sitting? Lying down? Gee, whiz, this is friggin a-MA-zing!

At this point, ze bobbLebot is unsure as to whether this qualifies as a news item or an infomercial, but at this point ze bobbLebot does not care. THIS IS SO FRAKKING COOL!

Here’s another description from Backpacking Light:

The Whiz freedom is antibacterial, hydrophobic and highly portable. Cleverly made, it will fold up when put in your pocket and spring back into shape when you need it. Because it is hydrophobic, it can be flicked dry (no need to rinse it each time), and the antibacterial properties of the material from which it is made allow the device to be used over and over with no degradation in its hygienic properties.

The Freedom is a soft, gentle, and ingenious device, and it allows women of all ages to wee in standing up, sitting down or lying positions without undressing. The Freedom means no more waiting, squatting, or hiding. Called a urine guide (also referred to as urine disposer or portable loo) its carefully (and cleverly) designed, highly flexible lily shape fits the outer curves of the human body comfortably and is externally held against the groin. Once you start, nature and gravity do the rest. Urine is directed away from the body, so there are no flowbacks, splashes or spills – you don’t even have to remove outer or under clothing. CE marked, FDA approved, and medically approved…it gives women the choice to wee wherever and whenever they choose.

😀 And look, neoLibs! It’s, like, soooooooo totally pro-Choice! :D

Due to the highly personal nature of this product, we cannot accept returns.

Yyyyyyeah… cuz that would be kinda nasty. Also nasty is the $30 price tag, which automatically would qualify it for the stuff-white-people-like section at your local Target. Dude, and you KNOW it cost them 30 cents per whizzer.

ANYWHO, here’s a highly interesting commercial on ze Whiz Freedom — though, I’ve got to say, it’s about as problematic interesting as those Axe Body Spray commercials.

May 24, 2008

Hangovers: When Ur Body Says, “AlcohoL, I am, Like, sooooo OVER You!”

Filed under: Drinking,Food,Health,Randomness,Research,Science,Uncategorized,Wake Up Call — bobbleheadedbob @ 7:09 am

Alcohol does not do your body good. You know this, I know this, we know this. Unless your liver is 19 years old again, chances are that your body and mood will not be all that kickin the day after. Alcohol does not care that you have the body of an Olympic champion (Oh, Bay-JING!) or the mind of Gaius Baltar.

Alcohol will treat you like it does anybody else — seduce you with that woozy, boozy, I-Think-I’m-in-Love-With-Captain-Morgan feeling, build you up, make you feel like you’re somebody special.  That is, until you’ve hit the bottle one too many times and find your head in the toilet by the end of the night.

That’s the good captain’s way of telling you that he needs space. From YOU.

And after that woozy, boozy feeling abandons you, you’re either left with a light case of dehydration and ew-my-stomach-feels-grody or YOU JUST WANNA FRAKKING DIE, DIE, DIE! Alcohol — you are the beverage world’s biggest asshole. There, I’ve said it, and I’ll say it again — but I won’t because I like to avoid redundancy whenever I can.

You show up in that shiny, shiny bottle, over shiny, shiny ice, in a shiny, shiny red cup — beautiful and swimming with the promise of Good Times. And Good Times are had — I’ll give you that much.

But on top of the headaches, the dehydration, the sensitivity to light, the upset stomach, the unsociable feelings, the befriendment of the nearest toilet — on top of all that, you just leave a real bad taste in my mouth. And it will be a good long while before I shall desire to kiss you again.

JERK FACE.

Fellow Gauchos! Josie Cuervo does not love you! He only loves himself!

Is it better to have boozed and losed than to have never boozed at all?

Not a huge fan of the snarky, bourgeois, elitist publication that is known as The New Yorker, but I shall be posting up excerpts for those interested in the science and culture of the hangover. I shall try to avoid posting the more ethnographical and anthropological snippets, but — SIGH — it is, after all, The New Yorker:

A Few Too Many

Is there any hope for the hung over?

A hangover peaks when alcohol that has been poured into the body is finally eliminated from it—that is, when the blood-alcohol level returns to zero. The toxin is now gone, but the damage it has done is not.

Hm… sound familiar??? Oh, Jim Beam, an asshole is an asshole is an asshole.

By fairly common consent, a hangover will involve some combination of headache, upset stomach, thirst, food aversion, nausea, diarrhea, tremulousness, fatigue, and a general feeling of wretchedness. Scientists haven’t yet found all the reasons for this network of woes, but they have proposed various causes. One is withdrawal, which would bring on the tremors and also sweating. A second factor may be dehydration. Alcohol interferes with the secretion of the hormone that inhibits urination. Hence the heavy traffic to the rest rooms at bars and parties.

This is why we don’t break the seal! Gauchos, you know what it is that I am talking about!

The resulting dehydration seems to trigger the thirst and lethargy. While that is going on, the alcohol may also be inducing hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), which converts into light-headedness and muscle weakness, the feeling that one’s bones have turned to jello. Meanwhile, the body, to break down the alcohol, is releasing chemicals that may be more toxic than alcohol itself; these would result in nausea and other symptoms. Finally, the alcohol has produced inflammation, which in turn causes the white blood cells to flood the bloodstream with molecules called cytokines. Apparently, cytokines are the source of the aches and pains and lethargy that, when our bodies are attacked by a flu virus—and likewise, perhaps, by alcohol—encourage us to stay in bed rather than go to work, thereby freeing up the body’s energy for use by the white cells in combatting the invader. In a series of experiments, mice that were given a cytokine inducer underwent dramatic changes. Adult males wouldn’t socialize with young males new to their cage. Mothers displayed “impaired nest-building.” Many people will know how these mice felt.

Yeah, life sucks when you’re hungover.

But hangover symptoms are not just physical; they are cognitive as well. People with hangovers show delayed reaction times and difficulties with attention, concentration, and visual-spatial perception.

Not a mind-blowing revelation, but all the more reason NOT to drink right before finals. It’s all about the timing, peoples! I would also avoid in partaking in activities such as sudoku, puzzles, and Jenga during this period. The A-game just won’t be there, mon amis. Nup.

Hangovers also have an emotional component.

Like ANGER?

Kingsley Amis, who was, in his own words, one of the foremost drunks of his time, and who wrote three books on drinking, described this phenomenon as “the metaphysical hangover”: “When that ineffable compound of depression, sadness (these two are not the same), anxiety, self-hatred, sense of failure and fear for the future begins to steal over you, start telling yourself that what you have is a hangover. . . . You have not suffered a minor brain lesion, you are not all that bad at your job, your family and friends are not leagued in a conspiracy of barely maintained silence about what a shit you are, you have not come at last to see life as it really is.”

Oh, so not like anger. I don’t get the self-hatred part, since I’m more mad at ze bottle than at myself. Like, “How could you DO this to me, when all I’ve ever done was RUV you?!”

The severity of a hangover depends, of course, on how much you drank the night before, but that is not the only determinant. What, besides alcohol, did you consume at that party? If you took other drugs as well, your hangover may be worse. And what kind of alcohol did you drink? In general, darker drinks, such as red wine and whiskey, have higher levels of congeners—impurities produced by the fermentation process, or added to enhance flavor—than do light-colored drinks such as white wine, gin, and vodka. The greater the congener content, the uglier the morning. Then there are your own characteristics—for example, your drinking pattern. Unjustly, habitually heavy drinkers seem to have milder hangovers. Your sex is also important. A woman who matches drinks with a man is going to get drunk faster than he, partly because she has less body water than he does, and less of the enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase, which breaks down alcohol.

Hmmm… interesting…

::takes notes::

So alcoholics have milder hangovers… hmmm… yes… that’s one way to go about fixing that… And as for red, red wiiiiiiine, I won’t have it stay close to meeeee…

Apparently, your genes also have a vote, as does your gene pool. Almost forty per cent of East Asians have a variant, less efficient form of aldehyde dehydrogenase, another enzyme necessary for alcohol processing. Therefore, they start showing signs of trouble after just a few sips—they flush dramatically—and they get drunk fast. This is an inconvenience for some Japanese and Korean businessmen. They feel that they should drink with their Western colleagues. Then they crash to the floor and have to make awkward phone calls in the morning.

Ah ha haaah. hah. Huh. So FUNNY you are, New Yorker. (Yoda voice: “And outdated your jokery it is.”)

But for reals, let’s take a minute here. Aside from the science of it all, “they feel that they should drink with their Western colleagues.” Is this fact or projection of a 1980s White observation? Awkward phone calls to whom? Trying to impress whom?

Oh, look at the funny East Asian businessman who’s trying so, so hard to impress the big, strong, White American Greek-lettered investor. Riiiiiiiiight.

Like prior to Western investment, alcohol or drinking cultures didn’t exist in Japan or Korea.

Oh, White people. Sometimes your egos ASTOUND me!

Such are the projections of self absorption and American exceptionalism.

Okay, back to CURES for the aftermath of the bottle, which, ironically, is MORE ALCOHOL…

As for hangover remedies, they are legion. There are certain unifying themes, however. When you ask people, worldwide, how to deal with a hangover, their first answer is usually the hair of the dog…an English manual, Andrew Irving’s “How to Cure a Hangover” (2004), devotes almost a hundred pages to hair-of-the-dog recipes, including the Suffering Bastard (gin, brandy, lime juice, bitters, and ginger ale); the Corpse Reviver (Pernod, champagne, and lemon juice); and the Thomas Abercrombie (two Alka-Seltzers dropped into a double shot of tequila)Many people, however, simply drink some more of what they had the night before. My Ukrainian informant described his morning-after protocol for a vodka hangover as follows: “two shots of vodka, then a cigarette, then another shot of vodka.” A Japanese source suggested wearing a sake-soaked surgical mask.

…Jones’s theory is that the liver, in processing alcohol, first addresses itself to ethanol, which is the alcohol proper, and then moves on to methanol, a secondary ingredient of many wines and spirits. Because methanol breaks down into formic acid, which is highly toxic, it is during this second stage that the hangover is most crushing. If at that point you pour in more alcohol, the body will switch back to ethanol processing. This will not eliminate the hangover—the methanol (indeed, more of it now) is still waiting for you round the bend—but it delays the worst symptoms.

young

hmmm… they start em young these days…

HAh! So MORE alcohol doesn’t cure hangovers! I knew it, Josie Cuervo — ur a JERKface through and through!

As for the non-alcoholic means of combatting hangover, these fall into three categories: before or while drinking, before bed, and the next morning. Many people advise you to eat a heavy meal, with lots of protein and fats, before or while drinking. If you can’t do that, at least drink a glass of milk. In Africa, the same purpose is served by eating peanut butter. The other most frequent before-and-during recommendation is water, lots of it.

A recently favored antidote, both in Asia and in the West, is sports drinks, taken either the morning after or, more commonly, at the party itself. A fast-moving bar drink these days is Red Bull, an energy drink, mixed with vodka or with the herbal liqueur Jägermeister. (The latter cocktail is a Jag-bomb.) Some people say that the Red Bull holds the hangover at bay, but apparently its primary effect is to blunt the depressive force of alcohol—no surprise, since an eight-ounce serving of Red Bull contains more caffeine than two cans of Coke. According to fans, you can rock all night.

I dunno if I’d consider Red Bull a sports drink, but it does keep the passing-out phase at bay. Wouldn’t Gatorade be more appropriate than Red Bull with all them electrolytes? Mmmm, watery lemon-limeness.

::salty sweetened drool::

Now to the sorrows of the morning. The list-topping recommendation, apart from another go at the water cure, is the greasy-meal cure. (An American philosophy professor: “Have breakfast at Denny’s.” An English teen-ager: “Eat two McDonald’s hamburgers. They have a secret ingredient for hangovers.”) Spicy foods, especially Mexican, are popular, along with eggs, as in the Denny’s breakfast. Another egg-based cure is the prairie oyster, which involves vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, and a raw egg yolk to be consumed whole. Sugar, some say, should be reapplied…

denny's bucket

Many of the cures probably work, she said, on the same distraction principle as the hair of the dog: “Take the spicy foods, for example. They divert the body’s attention away from coping with the alcohol to coping with the spices, which are also a toxin. So you have new problems—with your stomach, with your esophagus, with your respiration—rather than the problem with the headache, or that you are going to the washroom every five minutes.” The high-fat and high-protein meals operate in the same way, she said. The body turns to the food and forgets about the alcohol for the time being, thus delaying the hangover and possibly alleviating it. As for the differences among the many food recommendations, Neuman said that any country’s hangover cure, like the rest of its cultural practices, is an adaptation to the environment. Chilies are readily available in Mexico, peanut butter in Africa. People use what they have.

Ahhhhhhhhhh… hmmm…

ANYWAY, so there’s no REAL cure for the hangover, I suppose. Just techniques of delayal and distraction. Que American!

The most widely used over-the-counter remedy is no doubt aspirin. Advil, or ibuprofen, and Alka-Seltzer—there is a special formula for hangovers, Alka-Seltzer Wake-Up Call—are probably close runners-up. (Tylenol, or acetaminophen, should not be used, because alcohol increases its toxicity to the liver.) Also commonly recommended are Vitamin C and B-complex vitamins. But those are almost home remedies. In recent years, pharmaceutical companies have come up with more specialized formulas: Chaser, NoHang, BoozEase, PartySmart, Sob’r-K HangoverStopper, Hangover Prevention Formula, and so on. In some of these, such as Sob’r-K and Chaser, the primary ingredient is carbon, which, according to the manufacturers, soaks up toxins. Others are herbal compounds, featuring such ingredients as ginseng, milk thistle, borage, and extracts of prickly pear, artichoke, and guava leaf. These and other O.T.C. remedies aim to boost biochemicals that help the body deal with toxins. A few remedies have scientific backing. Manuela Neuman, in lab tests, found that milk-thistle extract, which is an ingredient in NoHang and Hangover Helper, does protect cells from damage by alcohol. A research team headed by Jeffrey Wiese, of Tulane University, tested prickly-pear extract, the key ingredient in Hangover Prevention Formula, on human subjects and found significant improvement with the nausea, dry mouth, and food aversion but not with other, more common symptoms, such as headache.

Well, shucks, that’s what all those painkillers are for!

BobbleBot’s Remedies/Distractions?

* A big bowl o combination pho. Extra limes. (buh… for vitamin C… buh…)

* Two packets of Emergen-C (the kind you get at Trader Joe’s or wherever) into a full liter of water, taken with 2 Vitamin B tablets taken before bed. (this actually softens the blow by a LOT in the morning.)

* Sitting in the shower.  For how long?  Buh… for as long as it takes.

* Staying away from peoples. Beds, ze internets, and DVDs will do just fine. Buh…

* Staying away from alcohol. FOREVER. (And by forever I mean at least a few solid weeks.)

Bobblebot’s Lessons Learned:

* Do not mix alcohol with medication, even if it is “homeopathic” medication. You may find yourself as that girl/boy/boi-without-shame, and not the life of the par-tay. Not that the bobblebot is speaking from personal experience.

* Do not drink alone. That is just sad, sad, SAD.

finding drunk White people on google images is way, wayyyy too easy.

* Do not keep a Cosco-sized bottle of Smirnoff next to your desk. (Oh yes, I have borne witness.)

* Stop after you feel the first blush of love booziness. Greed is a SIN for a REASON — a sin you shall be living out in the morning if you choose to indulge.

* Please refrain from drunk dialing — or worse, drunk texting. Chances are you’ll misspell so many acronyms and bungle up so many emoticons that the recipient will not know that you so desire a night of debauchery, or that you want her to carry your baby, or that you were the one who accidentally-on-purpose hit his dog with your car.

DRINKETH of ME!!!

* Drink when YOU’RE in a good mood. Nobody likes the Angry Drunk, the Sad Drunk, or the Cynical Drunk.

sad drunk

* Drink WITH people who are in a good mood. Nobody likes to partay with the Suicidal Drunk, the Violent Drunk, or the Pretentious Drunk.

* Basically, drink and be merry!

* Just be wary of making out with ze bottle more than what is necessary. An asshole is an asshole!

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