Through The Static

July 25, 2008

What math gender gap? Study finds girls, boys equally adept

Filed under: Culture,Gender — disciplepete @ 6:02 pm

SJ Mercury:

Girls = Boys.

A new study puts to rest one of the most widespread myths about boys’ and girls’ aptitude in math. After analyzing 7 million test scores, researchers found no difference.

The findings demonstrate great strides since the 1970s, when major studies showed pronounced differences in the scores of males and females. By the 1980s, younger students were matched – but girls fell behind when they hit adolescence.

Study authors at the University of California-Berkeley and University of Wisconsin-Madison offer several theories behind the improvements, including changes in educational approaches and career expectations.

“Stereotypes are very, very resistant to change, but as a scientist I have to challenge them with data,” said Wisconsin’s Janet S. Hyde, lead investigator of the study, published in Friday’s issue of the journal Science.

Using vast data generated by the No Child Left Behind legislation, which mandates annual testing of youths from elementary school through high school, the new study concludes that the gender gap has vanished among students of all ages.

This is an interesting tidbit:

Among math whizzes, there remain sex differences.

But they don’t add up to anything definitive. For instance, there are more white boys than girls with scores in the 99th percentile. But among Asian-Americans, it’s reversed: Girls outperform boys. (Reliable data was not available for Hispanics, blacks and American Indians.)

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June 25, 2008

Albanian Custom Fades: Woman as Family Man

Filed under: Gargoyles,Gender,World News — disciplepete @ 6:15 pm

This is a pretty fascinating article from the NYT about a fading tradition in Albania: when there were no men around in a family, a woman would take an oath to be a virgin, dress up as a man, take on male roles, and be recognized in society as deserving the privileges of a man. The trippiest thing for me in this article is how some of these women who became men have stereotypical male chauvinist attitudes and seem pretty pleased with the choice they made.

The tradition of the sworn virgin can be traced to the Kanun of Leke Dukagjini, a code of conduct passed on orally among the clans of northern Albania for more than 500 years. Under the Kanun, the role of a woman is severely circumscribed: take care of children and maintain the home. While a woman’s life is worth half that of a man, a virgin’s value is the same: 12 oxen.

The sworn virgin was born of social necessity in an agrarian region plagued by war and death. If the family patriarch died with no male heirs, unmarried women in the family could find themselves alone and powerless. By taking an oath of virginity, women could take on the role of men as head of the family, carry a weapon, own property and move freely.

They dressed like men and spent their lives in the company of other men, even though most kept their female given names. They were not ridiculed, but accepted in public life, even adulated. For some the choice was a way for a woman to assert her autonomy or to avoid an arranged marriage.

Looks like things are changing:

…”The Albanian woman today is a sort of minister of economics, a minister of affection and a minister of interior who controls who does what,” said Ilir Yzeiri, who writes about Albanian folklore. “Today, women in Albania are behind everything.”

Some sworn virgins bemoan the changes. Diana Rakipi, 54, a security guard in the seaside city of Durres, in west Albania, who became a sworn virgin to take care of her nine sisters, said she looked back with nostalgia on the Hoxha era. During Communist times, she was a senior army officer, training women as combat soldiers. Now, she lamented, women do not know their place.

“Today women go out half naked to the disco,” said Ms. Rakipi, who wears a military beret. “I was always treated my whole life as a man, always with respect. I can’t clean, I can’t iron, I can’t cook. That is a woman’s work.”

June 11, 2008

In Europe, Debate Over Islam and Virginity

Filed under: Gender,Health,Pokemon,Religion,Sex,WTF — disciplepete @ 10:15 pm

NYT:

PARIS – The operation in the private clinic off the Champs-Élysées involved one semicircular cut, 10 dissolving stitches and a discounted fee of $2,900.

But for the patient, a 23-year-old French student of Moroccan descent from Montpellier, the 30-minute procedure represented the key to a new life: the illusion of virginity.

Like an increasing number of Muslim women in Europe, she had a hymenoplasty, a restoration of her hymen, the vaginal membrane that normally breaks in the first act of intercourse.

“In my culture, not to be a virgin is to be dirt,” said the student, perched on a hospital bed as she awaited surgery on Thursday. “Right now, virginity is more important to me than life.”

As Europe’s Muslim population grows, many young Muslim women are caught between the freedoms that European society affords and the deep-rooted traditions of their parents’ and grandparents’ generations.

The article is pretty interesting. I think overall it’s pretty messed up for the men that these women are trying to fool. I think it’s bad to start a marriage based on a lie of this magnitude. Obviously these men place a high importance on virginity, and regardless of what the importance of a woman’s virginity ought to be, the deceptiveness of this whole thing just rubs me the wrong way.

June 7, 2008

Cuba approves free sex-change operations

Filed under: Gender,Health,Queer,Rights,Sex,World News — disciplepete @ 11:00 am

Viva la operacion! USA Today:

HAVANA (AP) — Cuba has authorized sex-change operations and will offer them free for qualifying citizens, an official said Friday.

The move is the latest in a series of changes implemented by President Raul Castro since he succeeded his elder brother, Fidel, in February…

…The procedure would be available to Cubans for free as part of their country’s health-care system…

…Since becoming Cuba’s first new president in 49 years, the younger Castro has done away with bans that kept most Cubans from owning cellphones in their own names and renting hotel rooms and cars. His government also has decentralized the floundering state agricultural sector, raised pensions for retirees and hiked salaries for some state employees, among other changes.

Makes me wonder if the U.S., if we actually get universal health care, would have a similar provision. I think it’ll take some time.

May 31, 2008

Al-Qaeda’s Feminists

Filed under: Gender,Religion,World News — disciplepete @ 2:11 pm

I have to admit, it almost seemed like an article from the Onion when I saw this headline about a debate within al-Qaeda about a woman’s right to participate in “terror” attacks. I just wouldn’t imagine that women who were devoted to Islamist militant organizations would feel so strongly about challenging their prescribed roles. But apparently it is a serious issue for some that’s being addressed in the safe space of the internet, where the women can express how they feel without revealing their identities. From Yahoo:

In response to a female questioner, al-Qaida No. 2 leader Ayman Al-Zawahri said in April that the terrorist group does not have women. A woman’s role, he said on the Internet audio recording, is limited to caring for the homes and children of al-Qaida fighters.

His remarks have since prompted an outcry from fundamentalist women, who are fighting or pleading for the right to be terrorists.The statements have also created some confusion, because in fact suicide bombings by women seem to be on the rise, at least within the Iraq branch of al-Qaida.

A response from one of the women:

“How many times have I wished I were a man … When Sheikh Ayman al-Zawahri said there are no women in al-Qaida, he saddened and hurt me,” wrote “Companion of Weapons,” who said she listened to the speech 10 times. “I felt that my heart was about to explode in my chest…I am powerless.”

Such postings have appeared anonymously on discussion forums of Web sites that host videos from top al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden. While the most popular site requires names and passwords, many people use only nicknames, making their identities and locations impossible to verify…Many appear to represent computer-literate women arguing in the most modern of venues – the Internet – for rights within a feudal version of Islam.

Well, Hamas is more open to women fighters:

Hamas, another militant group, is open about using women fighters and disagrees with al-Qaida’s stated stance. At least 11 Palestinian women have launched suicide attacks in recent years.

“A lot of the girls I speak to … want to carry weapons. They live with this great frustration and oppression,” said Huda Naim, a prominent women’s leader, Hamas member and Palestinian lawmaker in Gaza. “We don’t have a special militant wing for women … but that doesn’t mean that we strip women of the right to go to jihad.”

So what does this all mean for al-Qaeda’s PR?

Al-Zawahri’s remarks show the fine line al-Qaida walks in terms of public relations. In a modern Arab world where women work even in some conservative countries, al-Qaida’s attitude could hurt its efforts to win over the public at large. On the other hand, noted SITE director Katz, al-Zawahri has to consider that many al-Qaida supporters, such as the Taliban, do not believe women should play a military role in jihad.

May 29, 2008

Vatican says will excommunicate women priests

Filed under: Gargoyles,Gender,Religion — disciplepete @ 9:05 pm

The Catholic Church doesn’t allow women to be priests, and they’re trying to get the idea out of the heads of Catholics who support the ordination of women priests. We’ll see how long the Church can hold this position. I think the Church needs to also allow priests to get married; my dad actually used to be a Catholic priest, it was his first career, and he left because he had some beef with his superiors. My dad wrote a book about his experience in the Church, and if my memory serves correct, he argued that the Church forces priests to be celibate in order to exercise control over them.  That really seems to be a strong hypothesis on the face of it. Anyways, here’s some of the article about the women priest issue, from Yahoo:

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) – The Vatican issued its most explicit decree so far against the ordination of women priests on Thursday, punishing them and the bishops who try to ordain them with automatic excommunication

…A Vatican spokesman said the decree made the Church’s existing ban on women priests more explicit by clarifying that excommunication would follow all such ordinations.

Excommunication forbids those affected from receiving the sacraments or sharing in acts of public worship.

Rev. Tom Reese, a senior fellow at the Woodstock Theological Center at Georgetown University, said he thought the decree was meant to send a warning to the growing number of Catholics who favor admitting women to the priesthood…

The Church says it cannot change the rules banning women from the priesthood because Christ chose only men as his apostles. Church law states that only a baptized male can be made a priest.

May 27, 2008

Yo, Vaginas! Gee, Whiz-While-Standing-UP!

Filed under: Gender,Health,Randomness,Technology,Wake Up Call,World News — bobbleheadedbob @ 7:47 am

whiz freedom

What is this, mai peoples? Oh, yes, that would be “the world’s first ultralight, antibacterial, and hydrophobic urine director for women, and at 0.5 oz, an enlightening — and empowering — way to pee in the woods.” Okay, don’t get so excited, Freudians — not everything about peeing-while-standing-up has to do with women wishing they ALL HAD A PENIS! But this IS a convenient lil option, isn’t it?

Peeing while standing up.

No more squatting, no more worries about urine dribbling down your legs — or if you’ll make a urine-soaked mess while trying to drive and pee in a 7-11 Big Gulp in the middle of bumper-to-bumper traffic. Or if you’re peeing on a hill, to be careful not to get it on your shoes. Plus there’s that factor of having your ass AND vag exposed to ze world if there aren’t enough bushes and you don’t have the convenience of wearing a long arse skirt. Peeing on the side of the road in jeans is not this bobblebot’s most fLavorite activity to partake in on that road trip to NorCal.

gee whiz!

Now, lookee here:

The Whiz Freedom preserves dignity and liberty whatever the circumstances.

Aside from allowing women to wee in a standing position, sitting down or lying down, the Whiz Freedom can be used in confined spaces such as in a car, a kayak, a small airplane or glider (you’re up there for many hours), in a tent, a sleeping back, while chained to the stove, or while caving.

DIGNITy. LiBertY. FREEDOM! And we’re not talking about the latest ruling on ze status of marriage in Cali, Cali.

Dudes, this is seriously exciting. Standing up? Sitting? Lying down? Gee, whiz, this is friggin a-MA-zing!

At this point, ze bobbLebot is unsure as to whether this qualifies as a news item or an infomercial, but at this point ze bobbLebot does not care. THIS IS SO FRAKKING COOL!

Here’s another description from Backpacking Light:

The Whiz freedom is antibacterial, hydrophobic and highly portable. Cleverly made, it will fold up when put in your pocket and spring back into shape when you need it. Because it is hydrophobic, it can be flicked dry (no need to rinse it each time), and the antibacterial properties of the material from which it is made allow the device to be used over and over with no degradation in its hygienic properties.

The Freedom is a soft, gentle, and ingenious device, and it allows women of all ages to wee in standing up, sitting down or lying positions without undressing. The Freedom means no more waiting, squatting, or hiding. Called a urine guide (also referred to as urine disposer or portable loo) its carefully (and cleverly) designed, highly flexible lily shape fits the outer curves of the human body comfortably and is externally held against the groin. Once you start, nature and gravity do the rest. Urine is directed away from the body, so there are no flowbacks, splashes or spills – you don’t even have to remove outer or under clothing. CE marked, FDA approved, and medically approved…it gives women the choice to wee wherever and whenever they choose.

😀 And look, neoLibs! It’s, like, soooooooo totally pro-Choice! :D

Due to the highly personal nature of this product, we cannot accept returns.

Yyyyyyeah… cuz that would be kinda nasty. Also nasty is the $30 price tag, which automatically would qualify it for the stuff-white-people-like section at your local Target. Dude, and you KNOW it cost them 30 cents per whizzer.

ANYWHO, here’s a highly interesting commercial on ze Whiz Freedom — though, I’ve got to say, it’s about as problematic interesting as those Axe Body Spray commercials.

May 19, 2008

Heter – o – Homo — Marriage: Is This What We Want, What We Really, Really Want?

Some of our dear readers might see this posting as: “RoooZERS! HeL-LO, this, is, like, soooooooo 3 days ago!” but I felt like I needed to really sit and process this “victory” while recovering from that which is known as FINALS/DEATH.

shimizu

+ jolie = Oh, What Coulda BEEN! Right.

Do I think there is something inherently WRONG with the concept of marriage, of two people being committed to each other, faithful to each other FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES?!!!

GASP, GASP, GASP…!

buh…no?

Look, marriage ain’t perfect, but it does become a sticky issue once it has become a legal institution that is on the receiving end of certain benefits liiiiiike creating a “family partnership” under federal tax laws, which allows you to divide business income among family members, being entitled to inherit at least summa yo spouse’s estate (RIPieces, Anna Nicole!), and receiving social security, medicare, or disability benefits for your spouses. In other words — MO-NAY! That and a bunch o coolio stuff, like renewing leases for spouses, choosing whether or not to keep em plugged into machines (life support), or moving into “family only zones.”

At the same time, WHY MARRIAGE? Isn’t this a little archaic, to still distribute financial benefits for only those who uphold good ole Christian, Amurrican values? (And yes, marriage is a rittle monogamous phenomenon that does not find its roots in Christianity, but the instiutionalization of marriage by the US government was partially motivated over upholding Judeo Christian practices and codes of “morality,” which kinda makes you question how secular the US of A is sometimes… I mean, REALLY.)

I mean, couldn’t you just pick a friend? A special, recial friend?

But that would be MADNESS, sir BobbleBot!

Maybe so, but getting back to my original point (I’m sure I had one) is — IS MARRIAGE WHAT WE REALLY WANT and why? I mean, looking how the recent ruling in California as a victory, what is the language used in deeming this as such?

ellen portia

Oh, what beautiful blue-eyed, yellow-haired children they shall have!

Let’s take a look at one of the many Victory Jigs over the media, as reported by New American MediaGay Couples Rejoice Over Supreme Court Ruling:

SAN FRANCISCO—Since 10 a.m. yesterday morning, when the California Supreme Court released its decision that same-sex couples could legally marry in the state, a sense of jubilation has filled the air. The nearly 4,000 gay and lesbian couples who were married by San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom in 2004 have been on an emotional rollercoaster ride for the past several years—they went from wedded bliss to seeing their unions crushed by the rulings of lower courts. And it appears that their marriages are now once again legitimate in the eyes of the law.

Sounds great, so far, don’t it? Diff Sex couples and Same Sex couples shall probably both be entitled to the same benefits in ze state of California. (West Coast is dey Best Coast!)

Pauline Togawa-Guillermo and her partner of seven years, Jill, are one of those couples. They stood in the long line outside City Hall on Feb. 16, 2004, a damp and dreary day, to get their marriage license. They’d married each other several years earlier, in a Buddhist ceremony attended by hundreds of friends. But when the city’s then-new mayor stoked national controversy by ordering the county clerk to issue the licenses for same-sex couples, Togawa-Guillermo sensed an opportunity that she had to take. “It was a magical moment,” she recalls. “We made so many friends in that line—friendships that carried us through these long four years.”

Oh, crap. Here comes the human interest side of the story, the putting that “human face” on this issue. Not that the BobbLeBot is not in touch with its emotions, but it doesn’t like being EMOTIONALLY manipulated into favoring a specific perception.

Unless this emotional manipulation comes as a packaged deal along with a bussel of baby bunnies and roneLy puppies. RONELY PUPPIES!

seal pup yorkie BUNNIES

seal puppies are still puppies!

::runs towards them with outstretched arms::

Buuuuuut — I don’t see that here. No bunnies hopping around or baby dogs doing their bidness.

buddhist wedding + magically delicious

All I see is the Buddhist ceremony, the making of friends, and a “magical moment.” MAGICAL, I tell you! I’m not so sure if the BobbLeBot finds this story so magically dericious.

Shortly after the ceremony, however, the newlyweds received word that their marriage, along with thousands of others, would not be recognized because of rulings by lower courts. Togawa-Guillermo and her partner were already in the process of building their lives together, and the news, she says, was “shattering.”

“We were able to change our drivers’ licenses and social security cards, but the name change request was rescinded. The ruling came down, saying that our marriage was not legal, that our marriage certificate could not be used. One day we were legal, and within 24 hours we were living in sin.”

Shattering. They were SHATTERED, people! To PIECES! Ew, ew, more romantical language, and EW. “One day we were legal, and within 24 hours we were living in sin.”

SIN

Okay, drivers’ licenses and social security cards I get. I sooooooooooooo get. Not veree sexy, by any means. I mean, it’s a pain in the arse to stand in line and be shuttled from one to another in a building full of people in horribly foul moods. So THAT sucked. But “living in sin.”

oh, SIN

To be all technical about this, wouldn’t it be “living in sin” if, say, the marriage weren’t recognized in the “eyes of God” ?

::trying not to roll eyes, esp when couple had a BUDDHIST ceremony to tie ze knot::

Does Nation State = God?

So no, don’t have too much patience for the morality issue or the denial of the state of non-sin, since I highly doubt the US government can legally hold power over the status of your soul and karmic bank account. As much as I’m sure it would really, REALLY like to.

Come on, peoples! Let’s get down to IT!

“Marriage dignifies the couple and the child,” she explains. “When our daughter interacts with peers, she’s viewed as the child from a family that’s in limbo. She’s been interacting with peers whose families are recognized as a unit…the ramifications for our children are huge.”

Okay, lesbian-couple-formerly-living-in-sin-but-married-by-Buddha, you are killing me here. KILLING ME!

What, exactly, is killing the BobbLeBot, pray tell? It’s not just their line of argument, but the ideological structure they are buying into in order to justify the legalization of same-sex marriage. Yes, I can recognize that American culture can be, especially in really conservative areas, extremely judgmental of unmarried couples living under the same roof — “God”-forbid — parenting a bevy of children.

Basically, they view being a couple that is viewed as legitimately married by the government as the crux of their dilemma. They want their “dignity” and they can’t have it without the blessing of Mom and Dad God the US Government. Without governmental recognition, their child is viewed as being in a state of “limbo,” as coming from an unstable family background. They want their child to be viewed as “coming from” a stable unit, and that unit isn’t stable until it is recognized by a government that ideologically enforces Judeo Christian heteronormative values into the very fabric of our culture, our perceptions of what is “dignified”, and our legal system.

A marriage should be a SINGLE UNIT of 2 PEOPLE, dammit! Preferably recognized by the eyes of “God”. And a lot of same sex couples agree.

Welcome to HomoNormativity.

homonorms

We heard a lot about heteronormativity — not heard, but LIVE, actually, while having it rammed down our throats, whatevs, I GET it. But what IS homonormativity, pray tell?

According to Lisa Duggan (some famous ramous academic/activist involved in ze politics of sexuality and gender), it’s “a politics that does not contest dominant heteronormative assumptions and institutions but upholds and sustains them.”

gay cake

In other words, homonormativity doesn’t exactly resist or call heteronormativity (2 people, one man and one woman and 2.5 children are the IDEAL AMERICAN COUPLE) out on its bullsh*t. In fact, homonormativity BUYS into the culture of that white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and getting registered at Williams and Sonoma. In BUYING into it, it supports and JUSTIFIES the privileges of heteronormativity.

Look, we all buy into bullsh*T. Wanna hear mine? I watch ANTM. THAT’S RIGHT, people!!! I watch America’s Next Top Model and totally thought Anya and Fathima were ROBBED!!!

Still, I’m not gonna vote to make it a requirement to watch every episode of ANTM every Wednesday on the CW at 8PM/9PM Central in order to be eligible for a tax exemptions on magazine and cosmetics purchases. I’m not for giving health benefits to the people who watch it. It’s a load of interesting, pretty-pretty crap that the dumb/13-year-old and elitist/academic sides of me watch every other week on youtube.

murdaaaaah

ANYWAY, I super found the above linked article helpful, and if you’re interested in it, you should totally read it, but here’s a few snippets to clarify:

For many, such articulations of gay and lesbian identity in the public sphere provide evidence of true social and political progress. Yet in the past decade, some radical activists and scholars have cited such developments not as progressive signs of liberation but as reactionary responses linked directly to the privatizing imperatives of a powerful, ascendant brand of neoliberal politics that coalesced in the 1990s.

Can I get a WhUT-WHUT from the fallout of multiculturalism? Ah, neoLiberalism! There you are again, old friend! (buy RED! BUY IiiiiIT! ::shakes fist:: ) What — eating at Panda Express doesn’t liberate us from racism? What — watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy doesn’t fight our internalized homophobia? ::looks around:: WHAT?!

In accordance with this new homonormativity, prominent lesbian and gay rights organizations increasingly embrace agendas that vie for acceptance within contemporary economic and political systems, thereby abandoning their earlier commitments to economic redistribution and protecting sexual freedoms. This shift has made strange bedfellows out of lesbian and gay rights organizations and social conservatives: both endorse normative and family-oriented formations associated with domestic partnership, adoption, and gender-normative social roles; both tend to marginalize those who challenge serial monogamy and those – including transgender, bisexual, pansexual, and intersex constituencies – who feel oppressed by a binary gender or sex system. Moreover, because of its economic base in the neoliberal philosophy of consumer rights rather than that of citizen rights, the politics of homonormativity exercises an influence beyond U.S. borders, through gay and lesbian tourism, the global proliferation of gay and lesbian-themed U.S. cultural productions, and economic and political interventions that claim to make “gay rights” a global issue.

So the rest of this article/essay is super coolio, so yesh, yesh, read it if your brain can handle more brilliance. I mean, the BobbLeBot DOES tend to boggle the braiiiiiiiiiiiin…

What is a “right” anyway? And it bothers me that the issue of same-sex/gay/whatever-else-ya-wanna-call-it marriage upholds and reinforces the heteronormative structures of gender that oppressed the Queer, LBGTI community to begin with. THE OPPRESSED BECOMING THE OPPRESSORS, THE SELF-POLICING OF IDENTITY POLITICS!

BALTAR

Baltar… LIVES!

HeLLo — this is TOTALLY like Season 2.5 of BattleStar Galactica with the human police working in tandem with the CyLons to oppress (but really “liberate” in their frakked up minds) their fellow peoples! Sorry if I ruined that for some BSG fans. Um. It was allll gonna come out anyway.

So WHAT is my issue? Not really MARRIAGE (I mean, if you want to pick one, singular human being/animal/CyLon and commit to spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE with it, then that’s your funeral decision) or that now that Buddhist-ceremony-same-sex-formerly-living-in-“sin” couple are now entitled to the same benefits as heterosexed legally married couples.

SIN! + buddha!

It’s the whole buying into and supporting a system that kind of worked to oppress you, settling for a seat at the lunch counter as-long-as-you-keep-quiet in lieu of destroying that institution that persecuted you in the first place. You’re still on a leash and your value as a human being is still controlled and dictated by a government and culture that still doesn’t completely accept you with open arms. Because somewhere, deep down in the root of this acceptance of negotiated legalities, in these conditioned settlements of “rights” is a seed, a root of internalized self hate.

Colonialism, racism, sexism, homophobia and all other various forms of oppression cut DEEP, peoples. Real DEEP.

I guess the question is — is this REALLY a victory? You see why the bobblebot is conflicted on this issue? Hence, cannot stand and celebrate at the par-tay, but will stand in weirdly-delineated space of solidarity.

When the news of the court’s decision broke, multitudes of gay and lesbian couples crowded the street outside the San Francisco courthouse, braving the sweltering, 90-degree heat to celebrate. Togawa-Guillermo was no exception. “My whole being was filled with euphoria,” she says. “And shortly after that, there was a sense of peace—that this was right. The court gave us a sense of dignity, which had been taken away from us. Fairness and social justice have been achieved.”

Oh, dear. Oh, DEER! Oh — Bambi.

ccaaaaaaaaaake

homonormativity is magically dericious.

May 18, 2008

Yo, yo, yo, YO, GURT: Bourgeois White Lady Flavor!

Filed under: Culture,Food,Gender — bobbleheadedbob @ 8:11 am

…speaking of CRAP, or just something that can help you crap (thanks, Jamie Lee Curtis!), here’s a nice little ditty courtesy of Current TV.

And it’s YOGURT.

YOGURT

Though Current TV says YOGURT is targeting women of “all races” of a specific socioeconomic status that wears gray hoodies and probably buys good “karma” by purchasing items that come in red and pink colors, it’s like, soooooooooooooo the official food of White Upwardly Mobile Women. Multicultural casting does not CHANGE THIS.

::spoons imaginary mouthful of blueberry cobbler flavored yogurt into mouth::

Anywho, it’s entertaining nonetheless.

[current=http://current.com/items/88941392_target_women_yogurt_edition]

yummers

MULTICULTURAL MARKETING — I CAN SEE RIGHT THROooooooOUGH YOU!

P.S. Still reeling from this weekend, but shall be back to her babblebottedness on the morrow!

P.P.S. I dunno why I, too, buy into foods flavored like other foods — like pizza-flavored Doritos or chocolate pudding jellybeans and then complain when they don’t taste pizza-y enough or chocolate pudding-ish enough. DUDE, it’s a JELLY BEAN. DUDES, it’s YOGURT. It’s not SUPPOSED to taste like an organic appleberry cobbler with whole-grain vanilla chiffon fair trade vegan whipped topping. It’s just NOT. Is food mimicry that dericious??

May 10, 2008

I’ll Hump 2 THAT: An Orgasm a Day…

Filed under: Culture,Education,Gender,Health,Higher Education,Labor,Randomness,Sex — bobbleheadedbob @ 8:52 am

Photo courtesy of Pony Xpress.

This may not exactly be news — ie, “Sex is GREAT for Your Health!” (unless it’s unprotected and shared with a stranger under the influence of imbibed, injected, or snorted substances) — but it’s a good reminder to get your groove on now that spring’s in full-on, lusty swing. Especially when you’re doing your heart a favor, maintaining that saxy, saxy weight, physically keeping that headache and menstrual crampage at bay, and possibly saving you a case of prostate cancer. Cuz we all know what a huge issue THAT is for us ladies, am I right? ::rolls eyes::

Photo courtesy of Gmodels.com

Alternet reports on The Sexy Path to Good Health:

Heart

There, I’ve said it. But looking around, I’m certainly not the only one saying it. In fact, the bigwigs at Forbes Magazine — premiere reading for the wealthy and their admirers — devoted pages and pages to the benefits of sex. Among other treats, they relate that in a 2001 study at Queen’s University (Belfast), higher rates of bonking produced half the risk of heart attack and stroke.

A parallel German study at the University of Tubingen reinforced the belief that the quantity of sex directly impacted on both blood pressure and heart strength in the 51 men they followed. Quantity seems to bring a particular glow to men, whereas some researchers, such as Dr. Gina Ogden, find that for women it’s all about quality.

How flippin romantic. It’s good for the heart.

Though, if you think about it, Sex = EXERCISE. DUH, it’s gonna be good for the heart! That said, you won’t hear this bobblebot complaining when it comes to kickin off them running shoes and knocking zem boots. Unlike they’re a crappy pair of boots. In which case she shall gladly re-stick her feet into a pair of trainers and hit the track, Jack. (pun INTENDED)

Weight

Women and men alike enjoy assuming that active ardor leads to a slender silhouette — and they’re not half wrong, as long as you do plenty of it. There’s wide agreement that you can burn at least 150 calories in an average session (of course “average” is here an elastic concept), which is equal to a game of squash or a quarter-of-an-hour on the treadmill.

Again, Sex = Exercise, and if it doesn’t for you, then I don’t know what kind of sex YOU’RE having. Unless it’s boring sex. Lethargic sex. LAZY sex. Not that this bobblebot’s judging… (but secretly IS)

Pain

Lots of studies indicate that the various hormones connected with arousal and excitement — so intoxicating that people are now said to become “addicted” to sex — are fabulous pain relievers. Migraines? Arthritis? Why, just get laid. Dr. Beverly Whipple from Rutgers University says that even whiplash can be relieved by the oxytocin surge — leading to the release of morphine-like endorphins — that people often experience during serious groping.

photo courtesy of galadarlingIcing.

Yay! Apparently “serious groping” counts in this arena, in which case I can get rid of that headache in someone’s dingy bathroom at someone’s dingy house party, in the front seat of a PARKED car (safety first!), underneath the dinner table at a fancy restaurant — and the list continues! So if you’re not down to take that aspirin a day, grope, grope, grope away! I believe “heavy petting” also falls under this category. The possibilities are ENDLESS, PEOPLE!

“Yo, StranGer! I’ve got this massive headache and was hoping you could help me relieve it. With your BODY.”

Sniffles

A study from Pennsylvania’s Wilkes University, “claims that individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30% higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which is known to boost the immune system.”

photo courtesy of indieporn.

This is great for when cold season comes around in the fall — you know, that season that follows saxy spring and hormone-laden summer. Hey — it’s cheaper than getting that flu shot and is needle-free!

And for those with prostates…

Prostate health

In Australia, 1,000 men with prostate cancer and 1,250 without were questioned about their masturbatory practices and according to the BBC:

“They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop the cancer … Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.”Screwing isn’t as efficacious as the one-hand cuddle because of the diseases one can pick up (raising the statistical vulnerability to cancer). Apparently, cumming helps rinse away any little nasties that are nestling into the balls, according to this “prostatic stagnation hypothesis.”

More than FIVE TIMES A WEEK? Might as well make it a part of the daily routine, though I would like to see more research into the health benefits for female masturbation. Not that health benefits should justify the practice of it. I mean, if it feels DAMN GOOD, then is there any further need for justification?

So, to recap — have sex! Lots of it! But preferably with the glove, or at the very least with someone’s who’s tested CLEAN, if you know what I mean. (and if you don’t, get thee to a Planned Parenthood!)

Safety first, pleasure second, and health benefits — well, that’s like that spritz o lemon on that glistening, ocean-fresh oyster. Not necessary, but a nice palatable perk.

Photo courtesy of ponyxpress.

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