Through The Static

September 19, 2008

Oh, Bama! Nothing Beats Racism With Your Morning Box-O-Waffle Mix.

Filed under: Food,Idiots,Immigration,Missing Persons,Oh White People...,Politics,Race,WTF — bobbleheadedbob @ 7:31 am

Dammit.  Dammit, dammit, dammit.

The bobbLebot is not happy-eth.  Why?  Because the bobbLebot computes that this election is more than a little ridunKulous.  It’s a friggin circus!!!  We’ve got posterchild of feminism Moosey Lucy Goosey in one corner with the jabbity jabby Tina Fey/Amy Poehler skit in one corner, then we’ve got OWG, Rhetorical brilliance (and yes, that is con a capital ‘R’) with racist-arse buffoonery in the other.

This is not an election, this is made-for-TV!  But – alas… when has America last had a “free” election, anyway.  Que oxymoronic.  <– not cynical, but critical.

Anywho, this robot’s Achille’s heel tends to be, “RACISM?!  WTF??!!!” — and today’s case would be no different.  Oh, identity politics, what you have doneth to me!

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.  Okay, the bobbLebot cannot help itself.  But… on the other side of the coin, the bobbLebot is ethically opposed to voting.  Besides, robots don’t have rights in this country anyway.

Move over, Aunt Jemima!  There’s a new mix in town!

mmm... thats sho good eatin

mmm... that's "sho good eatin'"

Meet Obama Waffles… with “change you can taste”.  Oh, but wait — it gets better.  Or so says Chip Berlet’s blog post:

The boxes of Obama Waffles for sale at the 2008 Values Voter Summit were certainly racist and offensive, and conference organizers did the right thing by shutting down the sales booth in their exhibit hall.

It was alternative journalists, including those working for Political Research Associates and People for the American Way, that first alerted the mainstream media to the offensive caricatures on the boxes with online posts from the conference.

This is what voting tastes like.

Patriotism at its finest.

Patriotism at its finest.

Now, why would Rev Wright be MISSING?

because hes running from the law or because he got caught up in a lynching

Southern Subtext: because he's running from the law or because he got caught up in a lynching

Dudes.  Racism can be offensive, racism can be completely moronic — and then there are times when racism is downright creepy.

Aaaaaaaand… the party doesn’t stop.

There is a side panel recipe for “Barry’s Bling Bling Waffle Ring” that features a “Recipe Rap” that begins with “Yo, B-rock here droppin’ waffle knowledge” with the rest of the ditty written in such an irritating White caricature of Black rap that even a White 1920s vaudeville blackface crooner would be embarrassed.


Open Border Fiesta Waffles!

Under the caricature of Obama as a Mexican, there is a recipe card for “Open Border Fiesta Waffles.” The recipe card depicts a perforated border between the U.S.A. and Mexico. The text under this says the “greatest danger of all is to allow walls to divide us”…The recipe card on the Obama Waffles box including ingredients such as goats milk and jalepeno peppers, and advises as a “Tip: While waiting for these zesty treats to invade your home, why not learn a foreign language.” The “Recommended Serving” is “4 or more illegal aliens.”

And the clincher’s just as dericious.



Though this blog post practically writes itself, there shall be commentary.  As minimal as it will be.

The strategy of not directly addressing race, or to keeping it to a bare minimum has been a brilliant strategy.  Why talk about race?  The ground crew on both sides and in the middle of this issue will do the work for them.  We’ve got Brown people talking about it, Yellow people talking about it — heck, we’ve even got White people talking about it… ALL THE TIME.

2 Reactions:

  • Yay!  We’ve got White people talking about race on major news outlets!
  • ::cringe:: We’ve got White people talking about race on major news outlets.

In any case, if that isn’t Change, this roboT don’t know what is.



September 8, 2008

Getting High on High Fructose Corn Syrup

Filed under: Food,Health,Idiots,Love,There's way too many categories,WTF — bobbleheadedbob @ 7:08 am

BOBBLEBOT IS BACK… erhm… miss me?

So has anyone been paying attention to those pro-High Fructose Corn Syrup ads?  Buh… I mean, the liquid sweetness comes from corn, so ain’t it all-natural?

Mmmmm, liquid sweetness…


Looks, MA!  It’s fruit DRINK!  ALL NATURAL!!!

1st question: why is the popsicle nots alls meLticated???!

2nd question: don’t you love me???

3rd question: where did they get this pleasantly acoustic soundtrack from?  They must be hitting up the same person who wrote the tracks for yogurt commercials and kitchen products.

Now, the thrust of the argument for PRO-HFCS is that, “Whoa… I don’t know why it’s bad for me… so it must be good.  After all, it’s NATURAL.”  <- but not really.

Okay, if they’re going to launch a non-informative video campaign, here’s a more nutritionally informative video response – buh… cuz I’s too lazy to write a full-blown article at this time.  LAZY!!!

THERE.  HFCS is still honey-sweet smack for the masses.  SMACK I’S TELLS YOOZE!!!  And if you don’t believes ze bobbLebots, feels free to do yer OWN RESEARCH!!!


August 27, 2008

As Food Prices Soar, Brazil and Argentina React in Opposite Ways

Filed under: Economics,Food,World News — disciplepete @ 1:00 pm


SÃO PAULO, Brazil — Luciano Alves planted beans, corn and grain on about 7,500 acres of his farm in southern Brazil last year. This year, he is planting 8,600 acres. And he credits Brazil’s president, Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, with the increase.

“The government is helping us finance the purchase of new machinery,” said Mr. Alves. “They reduced the interest rates we pay and have given us more time to pay off the loans. It’s vital.”

Rising food prices mean many farmers around the world are reaping record profits. And South America’s agricultural powerhouses, Brazil and Argentina, are responding to the farming windfall in exactly opposite ways.

Mr. da Silva’s government recently announced record farm credits, in an effort to get Brazil’s farmers to produce more while the price of their exports are high on world markets, a move that should improve Brazil’s economy. But Argentina, Brazil’s economic and political archrival, decided to share the agricultural windfall at home.

Worried about the wave of inflation rippling around the world, the government of President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner increased export taxes on some crops, a move meant to keep down domestic food prices by encouraging farmers flush from global profits to sell more at home.

“In our country the government is trying to get money to subsidize other sectors of the economy,” said Eduardo Cucagna, president of FN Semillas, an Argentina seed company, objecting to the policy. “I think Brazil is doing the opposite, adapting to what the world is offering now. They’re doing it right.”

July 25, 2008

California Is First State to Ban Trans Fats

Filed under: Culture,Food,Health — disciplepete @ 5:54 pm


LOS ANGELES — California, a national trendsetter in all matters edible, became the first state to ban trans fats in restaurants when Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a bill Friday to phase out their use.

Under the new law, trans fats, long linked to health problems, must be excised from restaurant products beginning in 2010, and from all retail baked goods by 2011. Packaged foods will be exempt.

New York City adopted a similar ban in 2006 — it became fully effective on July 1 — and Philadelphia, Stamford, Conn., and Montgomery County, Md., have done so as well.

July 23, 2008

CHINAHHHHH: Beijing Hamburguesas, Rice Sticks, and Banana Caramel McFlurries

Filed under: Economics,Eeeeep!,Food,Oh,World News,WTF — bobbleheadedbob @ 7:08 am

Obviously this is not the taste of authenticity.  OBVIOUSLY.  But in the spirit of the Five Rings to Rule Them All, the BobbLebot brings you innerestingly caLoric burger news via A Hamburger Today:

To celebrate the upcoming Olympic Games in Beijing, McDonald’s is beefing up its menus around the world. The “China Menu” in Colombia and Argentina will offer the Beijing Burger—a patty topped with chop suey and ginger sauce on a bun speckled with black and white sesame seeds—along with fried “rice sticks” in lieu of fries, and caramel-and-banana sundae instead of the McFlurry.

Beijing Burger—a patty topped with chop suey and ginger sauce on a bun speckled with black and white sesame seeds—along with FRIED RICE STICKS in lieu of fries, and caramel-and-(Beijing?)banana sundae.

Beijing Burger—a patty topped with chop suey and ginger sauce on a bun speckled with black and white sesame seeds—along with FRIED RICE STICKS in lieu of fries, and caramel-and-(Beijing?)banana sundae.

Australia will feature five different burgers as a part of the “Flavor of the Games” promotion: The American, The Euro, The African, The Asian, and The Australian.

Unfortunately, Stateside folks won’t get anything nearly as global—just Olympic athletes on the packaging for the Southern Style Chicken. Russia also gets the short end of the stick: ho-hum chicken and fish sandwiches and a shrimp salad as part of the “McFresh” line. Maybe we should just get Chinese takeout? [via Goodies First]

Om nom?  Me’s liking the FRIED RICE STICKS.  GENIUS!!!  Nothing says RiceEATER like “sticks de arroz.”

IroniCs that ze BobbLebot has yet to taste chop suey — being an American invention.  Ah, if only ah livesed in Colombia.  If only!


July 5, 2008

Biofuels ‘causing food price rises’

Filed under: Economics,Food,Government,SeXiNeSS,World News — disciplepete @ 12:02 pm

Al Jazeera:

Biofuels have triggered a 75 per cent increase in world food prices, according to a leaked confidential report from the World Bank.

The report’s author, a senior economist at the bank, said that contrary to claims by the United States government, increased demand from India and China had not been the cause of rising food prices.

“Rapid income growth in developing countries has not led to large increases in global grain consumption,” the report said.

Rising food prices and the use of biofuels, which supporters claim are a greener alternative to using fossil fuel, will be discussed at a G8 summit in Japan next week.


July 3, 2008

WaterMeLon + Massive Consumption Fights PeniLe Malfunction?

Filed under: Food,Labor,Sex,SeXiNeSS — bobbleheadedbob @ 11:49 am

Yes.  No.  But yes!

Granted, most of the humanoids who tend to read this newsblog are not exactly fired up for the 4th of July, but I am aware that 75% of them (fake statistic pulled out of mai mechanized arse) will be firing up grills ANYWAY this weekend.  Go figures.

prettiness… buh….

BobbLebot shall eat up most any excuse for free barbecued meats and fireworks, but then again BobbLebot is a robot and owes no loyalties to the idio(t)-LogicaL celebrations of nation-hood and patrimony patriotism.  Speaking of eating up, for those of u wanting to get randy post-food coma, ya might want to graze on some watermelon.  LOTS of watermelon.  Preferably with salt.  Cuz that’s just how it’s DONE, okie dokes, folks?  SALT.  And a protective sheath, preferably in latex.

watermelonMmmm… tastes like sexuaL stamina.

CBS Reports:

Is Watermelon A Natural Viagra?

Watermelon may be a natural Viagra, says a researcher. That’s because the popular summer fruit is richer than experts believed in an amino acid called citrulline, which relaxes and dilates blood vessels much like Viagra and other drugs meant to treat erectile dysfunction (ED).

“We have known that watermelon has citrulline,” says Bhimu Patil, PHD, director of the Fruit and Vegetable Improvement Center at Texas A&M University, College Station. Until recently, he tells WebMD, scientists thought most of the citrulline was in the watermelon rind. “Watermelon has more citrulline in the edible part than previously believed,” he says.

How could watermelon be a natural Viagra? The amino acid citrulline is converted into the amino acid arginine, Patil says. “This is a precursor for nitric oxide, and the nitric oxide will help in blood vessel dilation.”

Hmmm… Om nom nom nom… juicy red dericiousness…

WaterMeLon: so NOT square!!!

He does know that a typical 4-ounce serving of watermelon (about 10 watermelon balls) has about 150 milligrams of citrulline. But he can’t say how much citrulline is needed to have Viagra-like effects.

He’s hopeful that someone will pick up on his research and study the fruit’s effect on penile erections.

Yes.  As do we all.  CURIOSITY KILLS…low su-tamina.

dunno if these count.  probably don’t.  buh…

::bobblebot shuts off for the weekend::

June 13, 2008

Squashing the Beef in S. Korea

Filed under: Activism,Food,Government,Health,Politics,World News — disciplepete @ 3:56 pm

More on the beef thang, from Al Jazeera:

The US government says it will encourage US beef exporters to label meat showing the age of cows slaughtered in a bid to ease tensions in South Korea.

Protesters have been demonstrating in Seoul for weeks over a new trade deal that would resume beef imports from the US five years after a ban was imposed…

…Such an approach could be a way to address anger in South Korea without altering an April agreement that fully resumes beef imports that were banned after a case of mad cow disease was detected in the US in 2003…

Protesters have given the government a June 20 deadline to come up with a better deal on the US beef imports…

Ben Nelson, a Democrat from the cattle-producing state of Nebraska, opposed banning older cattle, saying the move might prompt other countries to demand such concessions.

“They created the problem; they’re going to have to find solutions,” he said, blaming the South Korean government for successfully stoking fears that US beef was unsafe.



June 10, 2008

Large Beef Protests in South Korea

Filed under: Activism,Food,Government,Health,Politics,World News — disciplepete @ 5:05 pm

Ok, so apparently this beef protest is pretty serious, serious enough that cabinet members of the government have offered to resign. I’ll let Al fill you in:

Hundreds of thousands of protesters have taken to the streets of the South Korean capital as objections to a plan to resume imports of US beef continued to escalate.

An estimated 70,000 demonstrators gathered in Seoul on Tuesday evening, despite South Korea’s cabinet offering to take responsibility for the turmoil and resign.

The mass gathering in Seoul was the latest in days of sometimes violent demonstrations demanding that the beef deal be scrapped or renegotiated…

…In April, Lee [South Korea’s President] agreed to lift almost all restrictions on imports of US beef, which had been banned since 2003 after a single case of mad cow disease was detected in the US.

Critics said that the decision to lift the ban was undemocratic and designed purely to clear the way for a free trade deal with the US.

Economic issues in South Korea surely aren’t helping matters, and President Lee Myung-bak has sunk to Bush-esque levels of domestic popularity pretty quickly:

On Tuesday a labour union representing 13,000 lorry drivers and transport workers announced it was calling a strike in protest at soaring oil prices…

…Lee was elected to office last year after campaigning on a pledge to revive South Korea’s economic growth. His victory marked the biggest landslide in South Korean electoral history.

But with protests continuing to grow, barely six months later Lee’s approval rating has plummeted to just 20 per cent.

Adding to the pressure, the embattled president warned on Tuesday that South Korea’s economy was facing serious problems over rising inflation and slowing growth…

…South Korea relies almost wholly on imports of most energy, food and raw materials, making it especially vulnerable to currently skyrocketing global commodity prices.

It’s interesting that the U.S. beef issue has been the spark to mobilize so many people. I just wonder if there have been any similar reactions to U.S. beef imports anywhere else, and if not, why not? Why is this happening in South Korea? Is it really even primarlily about beef among the people there, or is the beef thing just the straw that broke the camel’s back? Or is the beef issue just symbolic for resentment towards U.S. influence on South Korea? These are questions I pose to those in the know.

June 5, 2008

Let’s Get Some DRANKs. No, For Reals. Buh…It Comes in Grape Flavor. Buh…

Filed under: Drinking,Food,Gas,Science,Technology,WTF — bobbleheadedbob @ 10:16 am

RED BULL HAS FOUND ITS ARCH NEMESIS. And it tastes better, too. Unless you’re not a fan of Dimetapp Elixer.


Dubbed in the blogosphere as the “Lean In A Can” (someone’s been keeping an eye on Dave Chappelle), this anti-energy drink comes in one flavor only: grape. Because grape + drink = drank. The “purple stuff” of Sunny D commercials.

A product description is as follows: We Have Combined Rose Hips, Melatonin And Valerian Root With A Great Tasting Beverage To Create The Industry’s First “Relaxed Lifestyle Beverage” These Ingredients Have The Ability To Relax Your Body, Mind, And Soul, So When Life Comes At You Fast, Just Remember To “Slow Your Roll” With DRANK.

And so can YOU for $5 a can! (Ouch! Even Red Bull’s not that harsh on the wallet. And it comes in sugar-free, too.)

For more info, here’s the Village Voice article:

Adventures in Press Releases: The Anti-Energy Drink

There are plenty of strange products out there, and they all need a publicist. This morning, I got in to the office and was greeted by a message from a sleepy- sounding woman calling about Drank “the anti-energy drink we’re calling the extreme relaxation beverage.”

Isn’t that already covered by a little thing called wine? No? This was too good to pass up, so I gave a call back.

Turns out, this is a carbonated, grape-flavored beverage spiked with melatonin, valerian root and rose hips. Apparently it is “very, very popular in Houston,” and it’s sold throughout the south in liquor and convenience stores.

So, does it make you sleepy? I asked the publicist. Yes, and she hears it’s good with vodka. Oh, something that makes it more likely I’ll fall asleep while drinking? Excellent.

What, you might wonder, was the creator thinking? I’m glad you asked. He was thinking of the hip hop community. Direct from the press release:

From design to production, every aspect of this calming drink was inspired by today’s popular hip hop artists who embrace the much sought-after hip hop lifestyle that encourages people to capture a stress-free state of mind.The drink’s tagline is “slow your roll.” So if that’s something you need to do, keep your eye out. Drank will be hitting stores in New York soon.

This is like death in a can for the grad student. DEATH. And it comes in purple.

BobbLeBot would recommend it, however, for the jet-lagged, or to use as a mixer for those angry or emotionally-charged drunks. THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE!!!

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