Through The Static

September 11, 2008

Death notice: “In lieu of flowers, please vote Democratic”

Filed under: Culture,Elections,Humor,Media,Politics,WTF — ausaydong @ 3:08 pm

I need to think of a clever line in my obituary like this.

I started hanging out with Ken Swanborn when we were both living on Maryland Avenue in Dolton and attending St. Jude the Apostle in South Holland. We played on the same football and baseball teams, we shared a passion for the White Sox, and we loved watching late-night TV and listening to George Carlin, Bill Cosby, Cheech & Chong.

As a comic, Swanny didn’t reach the heights, but he always kept working. He was damn funny.

We lost him last week, without warning. Dozens of his friends raised a glass to him at Bogart’s in Homewood on Sunday night while cheering the Bears and remembering the many, many laughs over the years.

Just behind Ken’s love for his wife and his family and his comedy was his passion for politics. It wasn’t surprising that his notice in the Sun-Times ended with “In lieu of flowers, vote Democrat.”

Read why the Chicago Tribune didn’t run that line.

“Well, it was not intentional, but we do have protocols and we do have rules we have to follow.”

“We have guidelines.”

June 25, 2008

Angry Kids Protest Gas Prices After Mom Cancels Cable TV

Filed under: Economics,Gas,Humor,OMGZCUTE — disciplepete @ 5:56 pm

Fox News:

SALT LAKE CITY – Sadie and Pyper Vance have had just about enough of high gas prices. The sisters are still years away from being old enough to drive, but that doesn’t mean the $4 per gallon price tag isn’t hitting them as hard as anyone else.

Cable TV was one of the family’s budget-cutting casualties, leaving Sadie, 9, and her 7-year-old sister without their favorite cartoons and shows.

“Gas prices are too high,” Sadie said. “I just decided to come and protest so they’d go down.”

The girls marched through downtown Monday chanting and carrying signs made from old campaign signs.

 

May 29, 2008

Things younger than McCain

Filed under: Humor,Politics,WTF — Tranimal @ 6:21 pm

This is pretty damn hilarious. Thanks to LMP for this one. You know were to get ’em political jokes! 😀

Description of the site:

Things younger than Republican Presidential candidate (oh, and did I forget to mention war hero?) John McCain

Am I being “age-ist”? Maybe. But maybe not. The world is a pretty complicated place right now and I’m thinking that it’s not such a great time to elect our oldest President ever. So sue me.

Some notable ones (there were SO MANY!!). Note that ALL of these are younger than McCain:

  • McDonald’s
  • States of Hawaii
  • AND Alaska
  • Scrabble
  • Penicillin
  • Don Imus
  • Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs
  • The Zip Code
  • AND the AREA CODE
  • AARP (American Association of Retired Persons)
  • ISRAEL
  • Chocolate Chip Cookie
  • Ronald Reagan

The author’s reasoning behind the side after accusations of AGEISM:

I’ve received a bunch of emails – and read a number of posts in the comments section – that questioned whether or not this blog is ageist. It’s a fair question and I wanted to take a minute to offer my answer.

It isn’t. Here’s why:

Before the blog launched, I thought long and hard to see if I could come up with reasons how gender or race could negatively impact on someone’s ability to do an effective job as President… and I couldn’t come up with a single one. But I was able to come up with reasons why age – at least, potentially – could be a factor:

  • Memory loss
  • Decreased stamina
  • Greater susceptibilty to illness
  • Possible lack of ability to relate to the issues and concerns of the vast majority of younger Americans
  • And, of course, the increased likelihood of dying in office… throwing the country into temporary turmoil and placing a greater importance of the role of Vice President

Furthermore, I got to thinking how the framers of the Constitution saw fit to attach an age minimum of 35 to the office of the President. Presumably, they felt that people younger than 35 lacked the skills necessary to be able to run the country. While I’m certainly not suggesting that we have a Constitutional amendment creating an age maximum, it does tell me that my line of thinking (namely, that age does matter) is clearly not without precedent.

Now, does all this mean that John McCain would AUTOMATICALLY be a bad President JUST because he’s 72? Of course not (he’d be a bad President for a whole host of other reasons!), but I am saying that it’s reasonable to make the subject of his age – and all that it entails – part of a dialogue about his qualifications… and that we shouldn’t run from the topic because it has an “ism” attached to it.

That’s what I say – what say you?

This is pretty hilarious. At the ripe age of 71, sometimes I really do feel like McCain looks like the walking dead… pale and wrinkly.

P.S. the WTF category is more like WTF he’s REALLY THAT OLD?!

May 19, 2008

In Other News: Hello Kitty is named Japan tourism ambassador

Filed under: Humor,OMGZCUTE — Tranimal @ 2:44 pm

AP:

Hello Kitty — Japan’s ubiquitous ambassador of cute — has built up an impressive resume over the years. Global marketing phenom. Fashion diva. Pop culture icon. Now the moonfaced feline can add “government envoy” to the list. The tourism ministry on Monday named Hello Kitty as its choice to represent the country in China and Hong Kong, two places where she is wildly popular among kids and young women.

Officials hope that tapping into that fan base will lead to a bigger flow of tourists into Japan, and closer toward their goal of attracting 10 million overseas visitors every year under the “Visit Japan” campaign.

This is hilarious. It’s almost like that time when Pokemon was so damn popular that it was named “Person of the Year” by Times magazine. WOW.

Doesn’t this make you want to FLOCK to China and Japan now bobblebotbob? It does for me. For sure.

May 16, 2008

EDIT: Bill O’Reilly: The Reason I Think We Should Bring Back Firing Squads…Now With Director’s Cut

Filed under: Culture,Humor,Idiots — disciplepete @ 2:33 pm

This vid of Bill O’Reilly, which is from maybe 20 years ago, further illustrates what a pathetic excuse for a human being Bill O’Reilly is.

So now we have the unedited footage from O’Reilly’s tantrum…check it out below!

May 6, 2008

EDIT: Why Pandas Make You Smile + Save PANDAS Not Whales

Filed under: Humor,OMGZCUTE — Tranimal @ 11:12 am

With all the serious and crazy news going on in the world… now for something that reminds us of why we care and it’s going to MAKE YOUR DAY. Your welcome.

EDIT: WOW. Way to go. This is kind of crazy:

April 24, 2008

Colbert Report: Finally, the Voices of America’s Long-Suffering White Males Will Be Heard

Filed under: Elections,Humor — Tranimal @ 11:21 am

Funniest stuff EVER. Gosh, I’ve forgotten how charming and great John Edwards is. He definitely got my vote for VP!!

Vodpod videos no longer available. from www.comedycentral.co posted with vodpod

‘Bonk’ Tells Us Some Amazing Things About Sex

Filed under: Culture,Humor,Sex — Tranimal @ 10:32 am

Alternet:

If informational nuggets like this turn you on, then Roach’s hilarious overview of sex research throughout history is for you. Bonk features hundreds of surprising and amazing facts that Roach gathered in her investigation of the science of sex. Here are just a few eye-openers: In the 1970s, Masters and Johnson observed that homosexuals were far better lovers than heterosexuals, perhaps because of gender empathy; women are more likely to have risky affairs when their hormones are peaking; rhesus monkeys climax within five seconds of entering their partner, giving new meaning to the term quickie; more than a few men throughout history have had animal testes grafted onto their genitals in the hopes of increasing their virility.

HA. We, queers, always knew that we were much better lovers than all your breeders. 😛

Kidding aside, it’s an interesting book (if not one of many) of the evolution of sex from a male-centric field (it has some interesting facts about this) to a field that has included the female sex drive and intent for sex in its research.

April 22, 2008

Do you have a flag?

Filed under: History,Humor — Tranimal @ 5:42 pm

Cross-dressing Eddie Izzard:

March 19, 2008

Black Guy Asks Nation For Change

Filed under: Humor,Politics — disciplepete @ 3:54 pm

From the Onion:

CHICAGO—According to witnesses, a loud black man approached a crowd of some 4,000 strangers in downtown Chicago Tuesday and made repeated demands for change.

Black Guy

“The time for change is now,” said the black guy, yelling at everyone within earshot for 20 straight minutes, practically begging America for change. “The need for change is stronger and more urgent than ever before. And only you—the people standing here today, and indeed all the people of this great nation—only you can deliver this change.”

It is estimated that, to date, the black man has asked every single person in the United States for change.

“I’ve already seen this guy four times today,” Chicago-area ad salesman Blake Gordon said. “Every time, it’s the same exact spiel. ‘I need change.’ ‘I want change.’ Why’s he so eager for all this change? What’s he going to do with it, anyway?” (article)

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