Through The Static

August 1, 2008

::rolls eyes:: “Obama Too Fit To Be President”

Filed under: Idiots,Politics,Wake Up Call — bobbleheadedbob @ 8:03 am

The idiocy of American media astounds me.  UnLike my own idiotic endeavors, which are not and should not ever be taken as more than 3 shakes of salt….

…that is, 3 shakes of salt over some hot, crisp sweet potater fries.  Korean sweet potater fries… none of that orangey, soggy “yam” mush.

Mmmm…  gohgeumah

Wait on the weight-watching, por favor!

Wait on the weight-watching, por favor!

Sometimes articles like these deeply, profoundly disturb the bobbLebot…not just on the topic of what’s considered news, but just how damn seriously some reporters take such inane topics.  REPORTERS.  PAID, FREELANCE REPORTERS.

Oy(L).

But here’s a report from Fox Wall Street Journal:

Too Fit to Be President?

Facing an Overweight Electorate,
Barack Obama Might Find
Low Body Fat a Drawback

Yes… yes, they are totally for CeReaL. And I’m totally talking Tony-the-Tiger-Snap-Crackle-and-Pop for cereal.  In fact, this may be our new for-cereaLity.  (And can someone PLEASE stop with the idiot polls on which candidate you’d rather shop, barbecue, drink beer, play a game of Wii bowling or eat Campbell’s Chunky Soup with???!!!  JUST STOP THE MADNESS!!!)

The candidate has been criticized by opponents for appearing elitist or out of touch with average Americans. A Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll conducted in July shows Sen. Obama still lags behind Republican John McCain among white men and suburban women who say they can’t relate to his background or perceived values.

apparently im too healthy for America

apparently i'm too healthy for America

“He’s too new … and he needs to put some meat on his bones,” says Diana Koenig, 42, a housewife in Corpus Christi, Texas, who says she voted for Sen. Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary.

So let the bobbLebot get this straight: Obama – the way he is marketing himself – is so eloquent, so cool, so physically and charismatically ideal that he just isn’t “with it” with the mediocrity that is the UniteRed States.  The ghost of the eradicated “left-ist” in me (was I ever really Leftist?  buh.  i wuz sucher poseR!!!) is yelling, “THIS IS WHAT 8 YEARS of DUBBYAH’s doggone DONE to the American PubLic!!”

“I won’t vote for any beanpole guy,” another Clinton supporter wrote last week on a Yahoo politics message board.

Great.  So now they’re citing message boards?  Is this how lazy they’re getting?  Or just out of touch with reality?  Or is it EYE?  Is it the bobbLebot who is out of touch with ReaLity?

According to Sen. Obama’s Chicago physician David Scheiner, the senator works out regularly, jogs up to three miles a day when he can, and has “no excess body fat.”

Dr. Scheiner didn’t disclose his patient’s exact weight, but medical observers estimate that the 6-foot-1.5-inch-tall senator appears to weigh at least 10 pounds less than the roughly 190 pounds that the average American man of his height weighs. The Obama campaign declined to comment for this article.

Though Sen. McCain cannot lift weights due to injuries he suffered as a prisoner of war in Vietnam, he “walked the Grand Canyon rim to rim in August 2006” and hikes whenever he can find the time, according to John D. Eckstein, an internist in Scottsdale, Ariz., who treats Sen. McCain. At roughly 165 pounds, his weight is slightly above average for a 5-foot-7-inch man his age, according to nutritionists.

::ga-DUNK!::

And no, this is not a report by The Onion.  This is “Real News.”

While most voters don’t base their decision on physical appearance alone, a candidate’s height, weight and overall look can play a big role in what Americans perceive as “presidential,” says Thomas “Mack” McLarty, former chief of staff to President Bill Clinton.

Auuuugh.  You see how they psyche you out there with the “Yeah, most people don’t vote based on PHYSICALITY per se… (faux morality check) BUT…”

But too much time in the gym can cause problems, as Sen. Obama learned last month after he made three stops to local Chicago gyms in one day, for a total of 188 minutes. The marathon workout session sparked a widely circulated Associated Press article titled “Obama Becomes a Gym Rat.” In it, the reporter wrote, “Sometimes it’s hard to tell if Barack Obama is running for president of the United States or Mr. Universe.”

what can I say?  i likes to jogs on ze jobs.

what can I say? i likes to jogs on ze jobs.

Republicans have recently picked up on the senator’s fitness regimen. On Wednesday, the McCain campaign launched a new ad titled “Celeb” that compares Sen. Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. In a memo to reporters explaining the ad, McCain campaign manager Rick Davis wrote, “Only celebrities like Barack Obama go to the gym three times a day.”

GAHHH!!!

::bangs harddrive against the wall::

It. Just. Doesn’t. STOP!!!

Struggles with weight-loss, on the other hand, can make a candidate seem more human. Some aides winced when footage of a sweat-drenched Mr. Clinton jogging into a McDonald’s in Little Rock, Ark., aired ahead of the 1992 campaign. But the footage is widely believed to have helped the then-governor of Arkansas connect to voters in conservative-leaning states like Georgia and Tennessee, which eluded Democrats in 2000 and 2004. These states have a statistically higher number of overweight people than Democratic strongholds.

“It says: ‘He’s just like one of us,”‘ says Arthur English, a political-science professor at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock who used to see Mr. Clinton stop in for fries and a Big Mac after his three-mile jog.

It says, “He’s just as mediocre as one of us.”  Cuz that’s what we want for America.  Rachel Ray for president.

Sen. Clinton has said she tried Weight Watchers to keep the pounds off during her presidential bid — a tidbit that appealed to her core of middle-age female supporters that Sen. Obama is now trying to woo.

Sen. Obama is not without vices. According to Dr. Scheiner’s medical report, he has quit smoking “on several occasions and is currently using Nicorette gum with success.” People close to the senator say he began smoking nearly three decades ago and smoked about five cigarettes a day.

Some voters say that even this adds to Sen. Obama’s somewhat superhuman persona. “I mean, really, who quits smoking and doesn’t gain any weight?” says 30-year-old Stella Metsovas, an Obama supporter in Laguna Beach, Calif.

Is this how human value – yeh, let’s forget for a moment the FUNCTION of the presidency – is measured?  Quantified?  In one’s fallibility?  Granted, Obama is a Leo and is hence a CONTROL FREAK (which explains hitting the gym several times and Nicorette-chain-chewing), it bothers the bobbLebot that people crave to see some sort of inane mediocrity – however constructed it may be.

This reminds bobbLebot of mommy issues where mummy dearest tried to thrust a consumption disorder upon it.  Buh… too much personal information… buh…

But for serious!  It’s like, “Fail, FAIL!  Show us you’re a lazy slob like one of us!  Become a part of this mob of mediocrity!  Don’t make us feel bad for being stupid, fat and lazy!  FAIL!  WE NEED TO SEE YOU FAIL SO WE CAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT OURSELVES!  BECAUSE WE’RE TOO LAZY TO HOPE FOR OURSELVES TO ASPIRE TO BECOME SOMETHING BETTER.”

Dude.  America needs a shrink.  This is what too much privilege does to people: self-imposed neuroticisms.  A voluntary inducement of depression.  Going to Burning Man to find oneself.  (Yes, “leftists,” you, too, are guilty!!)

Not that I take in huge stock into the idea of new world leaders and new world orders, but the people VOTING for these peoples supposedly DO.  So I find it frakkin insane and diabolically disturbing that people are just eating up this ONTD/PITNB/Perez Hilton way of marketing presidential candidates.  I don’t know if media outlets are laughing at their audience or, more disturbingly, actually take this kind of packaged, plastic reporting seriously.

Eye is troubled.  Not self-destructicating, not frazzled, not short-circuiting.  Just really, profoundly troubled.

::worries::

running away from the mediocrity!

augh! he's taking the wrong tactic: running away from the mediocrity!

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1 Comment »

  1. This makes me want to go to the gym haha

    Comment by Ivan — August 1, 2008 @ 10:24 am | Reply


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