Through The Static

May 10, 2008

I’ll Hump 2 THAT: An Orgasm a Day…

Filed under: Culture,Education,Gender,Health,Higher Education,Labor,Randomness,Sex — bobbleheadedbob @ 8:52 am

Photo courtesy of Pony Xpress.

This may not exactly be news — ie, “Sex is GREAT for Your Health!” (unless it’s unprotected and shared with a stranger under the influence of imbibed, injected, or snorted substances) — but it’s a good reminder to get your groove on now that spring’s in full-on, lusty swing. Especially when you’re doing your heart a favor, maintaining that saxy, saxy weight, physically keeping that headache and menstrual crampage at bay, and possibly saving you a case of prostate cancer. Cuz we all know what a huge issue THAT is for us ladies, am I right? ::rolls eyes::

Photo courtesy of Gmodels.com

Alternet reports on The Sexy Path to Good Health:

Heart

There, I’ve said it. But looking around, I’m certainly not the only one saying it. In fact, the bigwigs at Forbes Magazine — premiere reading for the wealthy and their admirers — devoted pages and pages to the benefits of sex. Among other treats, they relate that in a 2001 study at Queen’s University (Belfast), higher rates of bonking produced half the risk of heart attack and stroke.

A parallel German study at the University of Tubingen reinforced the belief that the quantity of sex directly impacted on both blood pressure and heart strength in the 51 men they followed. Quantity seems to bring a particular glow to men, whereas some researchers, such as Dr. Gina Ogden, find that for women it’s all about quality.

How flippin romantic. It’s good for the heart.

Though, if you think about it, Sex = EXERCISE. DUH, it’s gonna be good for the heart! That said, you won’t hear this bobblebot complaining when it comes to kickin off them running shoes and knocking zem boots. Unlike they’re a crappy pair of boots. In which case she shall gladly re-stick her feet into a pair of trainers and hit the track, Jack. (pun INTENDED)

Weight

Women and men alike enjoy assuming that active ardor leads to a slender silhouette — and they’re not half wrong, as long as you do plenty of it. There’s wide agreement that you can burn at least 150 calories in an average session (of course “average” is here an elastic concept), which is equal to a game of squash or a quarter-of-an-hour on the treadmill.

Again, Sex = Exercise, and if it doesn’t for you, then I don’t know what kind of sex YOU’RE having. Unless it’s boring sex. Lethargic sex. LAZY sex. Not that this bobblebot’s judging… (but secretly IS)

Pain

Lots of studies indicate that the various hormones connected with arousal and excitement — so intoxicating that people are now said to become “addicted” to sex — are fabulous pain relievers. Migraines? Arthritis? Why, just get laid. Dr. Beverly Whipple from Rutgers University says that even whiplash can be relieved by the oxytocin surge — leading to the release of morphine-like endorphins — that people often experience during serious groping.

photo courtesy of galadarlingIcing.

Yay! Apparently “serious groping” counts in this arena, in which case I can get rid of that headache in someone’s dingy bathroom at someone’s dingy house party, in the front seat of a PARKED car (safety first!), underneath the dinner table at a fancy restaurant — and the list continues! So if you’re not down to take that aspirin a day, grope, grope, grope away! I believe “heavy petting” also falls under this category. The possibilities are ENDLESS, PEOPLE!

“Yo, StranGer! I’ve got this massive headache and was hoping you could help me relieve it. With your BODY.”

Sniffles

A study from Pennsylvania’s Wilkes University, “claims that individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30% higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which is known to boost the immune system.”

photo courtesy of indieporn.

This is great for when cold season comes around in the fall — you know, that season that follows saxy spring and hormone-laden summer. Hey — it’s cheaper than getting that flu shot and is needle-free!

And for those with prostates…

Prostate health

In Australia, 1,000 men with prostate cancer and 1,250 without were questioned about their masturbatory practices and according to the BBC:

“They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop the cancer … Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.”Screwing isn’t as efficacious as the one-hand cuddle because of the diseases one can pick up (raising the statistical vulnerability to cancer). Apparently, cumming helps rinse away any little nasties that are nestling into the balls, according to this “prostatic stagnation hypothesis.”

More than FIVE TIMES A WEEK? Might as well make it a part of the daily routine, though I would like to see more research into the health benefits for female masturbation. Not that health benefits should justify the practice of it. I mean, if it feels DAMN GOOD, then is there any further need for justification?

So, to recap — have sex! Lots of it! But preferably with the glove, or at the very least with someone’s who’s tested CLEAN, if you know what I mean. (and if you don’t, get thee to a Planned Parenthood!)

Safety first, pleasure second, and health benefits — well, that’s like that spritz o lemon on that glistening, ocean-fresh oyster. Not necessary, but a nice palatable perk.

Photo courtesy of ponyxpress.

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8 Comments »

  1. interesting article! thanks for sharing 🙂

    Comment by Jen M. — May 10, 2008 @ 9:47 am | Reply

  2. “During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.” – Rodney Dangerfield

    Comment by disciplepete — May 10, 2008 @ 10:06 am | Reply

  3. ::claps hands:: yay u commented on my blog! I’m so happy!

    Comment by bobbleheadedbob — May 11, 2008 @ 10:24 am | Reply

  4. I mean “our” blog. collective we. my bad.

    Comment by bobbleheadedbob — May 11, 2008 @ 10:24 am | Reply

  5. Yes I do believe sex is real good for the body!!!!!

    Comment by DaOne Nation — May 12, 2008 @ 1:00 pm | Reply

  6. as do we all, DaOne Nation. as do we all.

    Comment by bobbleheadedbob — May 12, 2008 @ 2:23 pm | Reply

  7. Sexercise is great..

    Do it with safely and don’t injure yourself…

    It gets your blood in circulation and who knows, you may not need blusher anymore.

    Comment by Womens Health and Beauty — May 13, 2008 @ 2:11 am | Reply

  8. ::visualizing all the possible ways she might injure herself::

    Comment by bobbleheadedbob — May 13, 2008 @ 8:37 am | Reply


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