Through The Static

May 1, 2008

We Need to Reality Check Ourselves Before We Wreck Ourselves

Filed under: Culture,Economics,Food,Randomness,Technology,Wake Up Call — bobbleheadedbob @ 4:48 am

Okay, maybe not NEWS, but more like a WAKEUP CALL. How much energy do we consume while sitting on our fat American arses? SERIOUSLY!!! Well, here’s one indication…

And here’s another indication of unnecessary energy and material consumption for purposes of consumption from Serious Eats:

Cooking with Kids: Baby Food Blender

REALLY, WHITE PEOPLE Williams and Sonoma, REALLY????

Pronounced “Bay-OBB-uh,” the device has been popular for several years in Europe and is now available in the US. There’s a video on the Williams-Sonoma site showing how it works. It’s basically a mini-chopper than can steam food before you puree it. The industrial design is tops—with chubby curves and lime-green trim, it looks like a dollhouse accessory, albeit with a sharp blade.

I’m torn on the Beaba. On the one hand, I’ve always maintained that there’s no such thing as baby food and babies can eat chopped or pureed adult food with no trouble. Plus, the Beaba costs $140. On the other hand, I love gadgets, and this thing is so cute! In fact, if you don’t have a baby but feel the need for something in your life that is small, adorable, and noisy but not especially useful, this could be just the ticket—and it’s much cheaper than an actual baby.

Of course it was invented in Europe — never mind which part — and we all know how much we like our imports.

And for those of you interested in pampering your privileged babies who probably wouldn’t know the difference between Jiffy and organic, hand picked, stone-ground-by-fair-wage-child-laborers-six-time-zones-away all-natural almond butter, there is an accompanying Baby Food Cook Book. BABY FOOD COOK BOOK.

And it’s only 19.95!

Look, I dunno about all y’all, but I grew up on bananas mashed with the back of a fork. And I HATED BANANAS. But look, when you’re 2 years old, you really don’t get to choose what you hate or don’t hate in the department of what your parents want you to ate, oh-kate?


Is this cultural or generational — the level of coddling that’s going on in the (nation) state of America? If we don’t have babies to baby with Baby Burberry (remember when Baby GAP was fancy???), we’ve got the legacy of the Sharper Image (may it RIP) to tickle our adult fancy. And WHY? What exactly is making us turn to a limited-edition Toki-Doki-for-Stila compact or Newlyweds-era Jessica Simpson Belly Button Fragrance?

somebody\'s kid getting her hair did at a LolliLocks Salon.

Isn’t all the material excess creepily…excessive? And while the maturing upper-middle-class and beyond are shutting up their kids with the latest 200-dollar gadgetry, limited-edition-movie-tie-in-ice-cream-flavors, and trips to a pretty, pretty princess beauty salon for their kids’ DOLLS (yes, DOLLS), they’re treating themselves for all their hard, hard work with the occasional ButIdeserveThis, the nightly TodayWasHard, the ritual and time honored Retail Therapy.

And instead of candy, we’ve got candy-colored pills. Brain sugar. To de-stress from all that self-imposed excess. And in the midst of all this “productivity” I wonder — don’t they get ever so tired? Isn’t this constant enslavement to buy-buy-buy exhausting? What would happen if we said Bye-Bye-Bye to Buy-Buy-Buy?

Or maybe that’s just how it works, to create the sensation that something is lacking, that there is something to crave, and then to make a market for it to peddle to the masses.

Consumption of the American Bald Ego.

P.S. And I’m not just addressing upper-to-upper-middle-class-White-folks. WE ALL DO IT TOO!! ALL OF US!!



  1. I saw a bumper sticker at the library a little while said “The more you know, the less you need.” Word.

    Comment by disciplepete — May 1, 2008 @ 6:45 am | Reply

  2. Would that be word as in Microsoft Word XP? Cuz I should really get that installed on that brand spanking new Prada Edition Sony Vaio Sanrio laptop, version 4.0. I’m gonna get it in pink, which you won’t be able to tell really, cuz I’m planning on it then being custom-encrusted in cerulean blue Swarovski crystals cut by underprivileged children in Singapore.

    You know, for as a Happy Half-Birthday for my sister’s dog. He’s 4 years and 24 weeks old. Pure bred Yorshire Terrier. Tea Cup size.

    You know they actually had him specially bred inside an actual tea cup? They heard it would increase their chances of garnering an artificially small doggle. And it DID. And it only cost them the equivalent of 3 college tuitions at a state-funded university. Peanuts.

    Comment by bobbleheadedbob — May 1, 2008 @ 7:01 am | Reply

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