Through The Static

April 28, 2008

Mebbe Miss Cleo Wasn’t So Full o Cowpies…MEBBE

Filed under: Miss Cleo,Musings,Randomness,Research,Science,Technology,Uncategorized,World News — bobbleheadedbob @ 9:47 am

Not saying we should use to play the stock market or influence or decisions at the polls, but I found this interesting indeed!


Britain’s Biggest Banks Use Astrology to Play the Markets

Christeen is one of a growing, albeit secretive, network of astrologers who work for seemingly conservative British institutions such as high street banks, City investment funds and retailers. Desperate to avoid financial meltdown in the ongoing ‘credit crunch’ and to spot fashions and consumer trends before they start, these institutions have turned to the stars to divine the future.

“Most academics distrust astrology and regard it as mumbo-jumbo,” she says. “The thing is, it works. Nobody’s sure how it works but it does. Most of my clients are businesspeople who are very canny. If it didn’t work for them, then why would they use it?”

One of Christeen’s clients is Judith Levy, chief executive of the High and Mighty retail chain.

“I’m fairly pragmatic,” says Judith. “I will only spend money on an astrologer if the decision I have to take is very important – the kind of decision which will cost me a lot of money if I get it wrong.

“When we launched our Kayak brand a few years ago we used astrology to decide the launch date. Since then, it has gone from strength to strength. It’s one of our best selling brands.”

Mmm hmmm… ::looks up:: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  All I said was “Mmm HMMM…”

“It’s just not true,” [ Professor Chris French, a parapsychologist at Goldsmiths, University of London] says. “Hundreds of studies disprove astrology. There are all kinds of reasons why people might want to believe in these things for solid psychological reasons but that does not make astrology true.”

Dr Percy Seymour, an astrophysicist recently retired from Plymouth University, disagrees. He’s spent decades studying astrology and has come up with a theory as to how it might actually work. Crucially, his ideas do not violate any of the laws of physics although they may over-tax some people’s credulity.

Dr Seymour believes that low frequency magnetic fields emanating from the sun interact with those of the Earth, which in turn affects the functioning of the human brain.

“The magnetic field of the sun can be affected by the movement and position of the planets,” he says. “Having said all that, I don’t believe that the cosmos controls us but it can influence us.”

It’s a neat theory but does it stand up to scrutiny?

Jim Porter, chief technical analyst for one of the UK’s largest banks, believes it does. He uses heliocentric magi astrology to predict the direction of the international financial markets. Millions of pounds worth of commodities, shares and currencies are traded on his command. His decisions may affect the value of your pension, your home, and perhaps decide whether or not you have a job tomorrow.

When I spoke to him late last year, he told me that the position of the planets indicated a 3.2 percent fall in the American markets. The following week they duly fell 3.5 percent.

“My attitude is that if you can test it, and it works, then it’s just another tool that you can use to predict the direction of the markets,” he says.

“I have tested it and astrology works. Used with other techniques it can give you confidence, and the more confidence you have, the bigger the risks you can take.”

Jim has recently compiled a report for a major central bank charting the likely economic trends of the coming few years. According to Jim’s forecasts, the economy and the financial and housing markets all face a rocky road and have a dismal short-term future.

Que interesante…

“At the moment,” he says. “Mars in Cancer is in opposition to Pluto in Capricorn. This indicates a polarisation of opposing sentiments – turmoil, in other words. This cycle ends around 6th April.”

“Sentiment will then recover and will turn down in early August. That phase will last for 4-5 weeks. There will be another shake in October.

“In 2012 we’ll be entering the precession of the equinoxes, which is the most important thing that’s happened in the last 26,000 years. That suggests that something mega is going to happen. There will be a huge change in the world’s psychology caused by a huge natural disaster or a massive change in spiritual beliefs.

“We have an interesting four years ahead of us.”

AstroNUTS or not, THIS is something I can, indeed, agree upon.



  1. HAHAH I’m loving that you wasted no time in making use of the Miss Cleo category!

    Ya, a lot of prominent people use astrology. One thing I’d like to know: there are different systems of astrology, as far as I know the major ones are Chinese, Indian, and Western. If the prognostications of these systems don’t always harmonize with each other (which I believe is the case), then how does one determine which system to believe?

    Ah, if only I knew an astrology enthusiast to pose this question to! =)

    Comment by disciplepete — April 28, 2008 @ 12:14 pm | Reply

  2. how do you know whether or not they harmonize? perhaps a pete doggles should do some research before stating his beliefs on the case – OHHHHH, WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!

    Comment by bobbleheadedbob — April 28, 2008 @ 12:28 pm | Reply

  3. hahah you are right, I haven’t spent a lot of time comparing the systems. I was going by what I heard somewhere, which is why I merely said I “believe” it to be the case.

    So do you know, do they harmonize with each other? Not only the 3 I mentioned, but the several others which have existed/might still exist? Are there ANY disagreements between any of the systems? And if so, how do we determine the truth?

    Stop being so combative =)

    Comment by disciplepete — April 28, 2008 @ 12:41 pm | Reply

  4. “I was going by what I heard somewhere…”

    Oh, so someone really DOES watch FOX News!! Heil, Murdoch!

    ::runs away b4 pete can catch her::

    Comment by bobbleheadedbob — April 28, 2008 @ 1:20 pm | Reply

  5. Stop trying to start stuff! I’ll go back to my corner, you go back to your crystal ball, rabbit feet, and elephant testicles, and we can be friends.

    Comment by disciplepete — April 28, 2008 @ 5:26 pm | Reply

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