Sometimes It’s Hard Being Yellow-Brown. Sometimes. Like When You’re Yellow. Or Brown.

International Examiner:

Racially-charged incidents towards Asian American students on college campuses nationwide are raising serious concerns…In light of the upcoming anniversary of the Virginia Tech shooting, the IE examines the campus incidents changing what it means to be a student, to be Asian American, and to be an American. Because, it seems these things are still separate from one another….

Let’s tally up ze scoreboard, shall we?

1) On Jan. 21, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, Kyle Descher, a Korean American, headed out to a bar with his roommate after a Washington State University football victory over Oregon. Minutes after hearing a racial slur from one of three unknown men, Descher is “sucker-punched” in an unprovoked attack. Doctors add three titanium plates to Descher’s broken jaw and it’s wired shut. (article)

Physically violent racism: both nutritious AND dericious!  Unless your jaw’s wired shut and you’re unable to consume solid foods.  Oh WAIT…  ::ga-DUNK::

2) Washington D.C. – April 11, 2008: A Sikh graduate student at Texas A & M University was viciously attacked by an unknown individual in Bryan, TX and had his turban forcibly knocked off of his head. The Sikh American Legal Defense and Education Fund (SALDEF) filed formal complaints with the Bryan Police Department and the Federal Bureau of Investigation and has learned that the attack has been classified as a hate crime. (article)

Nice one, xenophobe.

3) On February 28, 2008, Mr. Singh (name withheld for privacy) was walking back to his vehicle at a local Wal-Mart parking lot when he was approached by an unknown male who called Mr. Singh a ‘terrorist’ and then made other disparaging and racist remarks. Mr. Singh responded by telling the suspect that he did not want any trouble at which time the individual approached Mr. Singh and punched him in the face and head, knocking both Mr. Singh and his daastar (turban) to the ground. Mr. Singh did not sustain any major injuries. (article)

This one I’m gonna have to give credit to Rupert Murdoch’s media machine for, cuz now we can add “terrorist” to the long list of metonyms for Brown/Yellow, liiiiiike “foreigner,” “undocumented,” or, my personal favorite — “they’retakingourjobs.”

4) The University of Pennsylvania’s humorous quarterly student publication, “The Punch Bowl,” dates back to 1899. And by all accounts, it’s still the 19th century.

In its latest Winter 2008 edition, “The Racism (slash) Diversity Issue,” Asian Americans got the most laughs — at their expense.

In the “Where Asians Don’t Belong” section, staffers of the “Punch Bowl” listed Math 104, in a panties drawer, on the basketball court, at a frat party, and behind the wheel. Imagine why the staff didn’t make jokes with the same glee for all the places African Americans “don’t belong.” In their defense, “Punch Bowl” editors said some of the writers of the “satirical” issue were Asian Americans themselves, even posing in photos poking fun at APIs…(article)

Aaaaaaaaugh!  Asian-on-Asian racial “satire.”  It hurts!!!  ::plop–!::

My inner yolk explodicated.  ::drip, drip::

5) In another instance where “satire” went too far, at the University of Colorado, the “Campus Press,” an on-line student newspaper, published an opinion piece on Feb. 18, titled, “If it’s war the Asians want … it’s war they’ll get.” CU Boulder student Max Karson wrote the article, describing why he thinks “Asians hate us all” and what people should do about it. This “lesson” includes kidnapping and tying up Asians and yelling racial slurs at them. He says his “satirical” commentary is meant to provoke dialogue about racism at CU. But he says he was “disappointed when the conversation instead became about suppressing [his] right to free speech.”

In the “War on Asians,” Karson describes a strange ordeal to teach Asians a “lesson” including, capturing as many Asians as possible with a butterfly net (step #1), forcing them to eat bad sushi (step #2), make facial expressions to match a word on a card, and play Dance Dance Revolution. Once Asians are “corrected” in their ways, they’re freed. (article)

Whoa… first of all I have noooo idea WHATSOEVER why an article written by a WHITE DUDE entitled “WAR ON ASIANS” wouldn’t provoke a productively fruitful dialogue.  Dialogue implying a conversation… between at least 2 parties… one of which is declaring war on the other… and calls for kidnapping them and feeding them bad sushi.  (Though I must interject and state that I DO, in fact, hate bad sushi.)

What I’ve got to say I find most interesting is in his ironic search to find out “why Asians hate US,” I find myself asking who, Mr. Karson, is included in this “US”?

P.S. Your article is badly written.

P.P.S. You have got some serious, serious xenophobic (read: RACIST!!!) issues, dude.  Seriously serious.  Like Minute Men serious.